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Investing in Your Image is Investing in Your Career

Have you ever convinced yourself to buy something by arguing that “it’s an investment piece?” “Black Louboutin’s will never go out of style… they must be worth the $500!“

We’ve probably argued this with expensive purses, technology and work attire. The truth is that they can definitely be considered investments – in you and your career!

Your image is an important part of how seriously you are taken in the business world but do we make sure our image is in tip-top shape everywhere? Sometimes we forget about another professional space where we may get even more attention, the internet. Even worse, our image is all we have on the web! If we aren’t projecting a good one then we’re probably being overlooked.
Be honest; does your LinkedIn profile have a photograph? Or are you one of those people who chooses (or can’t be bothered) to not to upload an image? If you opt out of including a headshot, the message you are sending to the professional world is not a good one. It is not a beauty contest, but more of a way for you to be identified, as well as for others to check out your professional persona.
We’ve all heard the phrase “a picture is worth a thousand words,” but some of us don’t consider it when choosing a photograph. For example, it should not be a photo from your best friend’s wedding that visibly shows your hand being cropped out of a champagne toast shot. Another thing I see often are photographs of couples. This is a major faux pas if you are looking to get hired or advance your career. Keep the couple shots on the wall in your home. Employers are only interested in you, not your significant other.
A lot of people panic when contemplating getting their photos taken. It’s important to find a photographer with whom you feel comfortable and can relax with during the shoot. While you don’t need to spend an arm and a leg, investing in a professional photographer will give you visibly better results than having a friend photograph you with their iPhone.
Your professional shot will come in handy for LinkedIn and other social media sites and can also be used on your organization’s website if applicable. You will find countless ways to use your professional photo, so consider this as an investment in your career.
Here are some tips for your professional photos regarding clothing, makeup, and jewelry. Keep in mind your attire should match your industry.
What to Wear
  • Wear clothes that are comfortable and well-fitting that make you look and feel great.

  • Turtlenecks are almost always a bad idea since they crowd the face.

  • Clothes should be neatly pressed or fresh looking.

  • Avoid busy patterns and large lines/stripes.

  • Choose colors you wear well that accentuate your eye color and skin tone.

  • Different necklines will change the shape of your face. Bring a variety of different shirts/blouses to see what works best.

Make-up/Hair for Women
  • Even if you prefer a more natural look – you need some makeup to allow your face to pop in the photo.

  • EYES:
 Well-groomed eyebrows are a must. Enhance eyelashes with black mascara. Dark brown eyeliner is a natural alternative to heavy black eyeliner and compliments all eye shadows.

  • CHEEKS:
 Don’t be afraid to add a little color on the apples of the cheekbones. It will really brighten up the appearance of the face.

  • FACE:
 Use both SPF-free moisturizer and foundation to prevent reflection and to enhance skin’s natural glow. Use a translucent powder to set.

  • LIPS:
 Lips are best in reds, berries, and browns. No frosty pink. Glosses in any berry color work well. Even if you never wear lipstick, a little color will really make your smile stand out. Your lips are an essential tool for effective communication.

  • If getting a haircut or new hair style, make your appointment at least 2 weeks prior to your portrait session so you feel comfortable with your hair.

Jewelry

  • Keep jewelry simple – small is better, even with the new bold styles.

  • Avoid jewelry that would distract from your face or that looks dated.

  • The picture is about your face not your jewelry.

  • Be prepared to remove facial piercings or multiple ear piercings unless this acceptable in your industry.

Do your research to find the best fit for you since photography is an investment in your professional future. Ask for examples of their work and call references to learn about what to expect on the shoot. Since digital images are the norm, ask to see some of the shots during the shoot so you can adjust your smile or pose before the session is over.
Practice your smile and poses in the mirror in the privacy of your own home before the shoot so you become comfortable and relaxed. You want your photos to really look like the authentic you so enjoy the process and smile!
If you’ve ever convinced yourself to buy expensive clothing or technology, all in the name of your career, then a professional photograph should be a no-brainer. Be a model for a day and let your professional demeanor and hard work show through the great image you can send out. The web’s a big place, don’t let yourself get overlooked!

Why You’re Acting Like Such a Monster

If you have been feeling crabby, cranky, controlling, overwhelmed, or “witchy” you are in good company!

No – it isn’t the Halloween season rearing its namesake. These symptoms can be an indication that potentially your soul is just starving and trying to get your attention. I remember the first day that I realized my soul was starving. I was living my passion, doing great work in the world, meeting a lot of my goals, and making enough money to get by. But I found myself at the tail end of a three-week “busy binge” with little room for pleasure and play, leaving me, in one word, CRABBY. So I held an honesty hearing with myself. My first question was simply, “Christine, what is going on with you?” and instantly I realized that I was unhappy, really unhappy, and had been for weeks. My reply was, “What? I am one of the happiest people I know. How could this be?” My Inner Wisdom shot back: “Because your soul is starving. You have been so busy giving, so busy working, so consumed with being a joy for others, that you’ve forgotten to experience joy for yourself.”

In that moment it was as if I could feel a hole inside me. I was empty, starving for nourishment — but not the green drink kind. I needed soul food. And the food of the soul is joy.

The problem was that I couldn’t even remember what actually brought me joy. And that was when I knew I needed a radical intervention… a self-love intervention. I am guessing I am not alone in my experience in getting crabby and cranky because I wasn’t getting what I needed. Maybe you can relate. Are you so busy doing, giving and trying to keep it all together or achieving your dreams that you are pursuing happiness instead of experiencing it?

I’m getting the sense that a lot of us have work-play equations that get out of balance.  This happens when you don’t spend time and energy on activities that deliver only pleasure instead of profit or productivity. As a result, your joy quotient plummets and your crabbiness increases. So you joy-binge in unhealthy ways for a quick fix, but your soul never feels full.

So how joy-full or joy-starved are you?

Take this self-love pulse check. It measures the joy levels of the self-pleasure branch of your self-love tree. Your self-love tree has 10 branches, and self-pleasure is the one that makes sure your SOUL is nourished. Answer yes or no to these questions:

1. Do you feel unhappy and you don’t know why?

2. Do you play or give yourself pleasurable things only after you have worked hard or finished your to do list? Do you have to feel like you’ve earned playing and doing pleasurable things?

3. Do you try to get pleasure in quick spurts or by bingeing on it? Do you wait until you are starving for fun and then you overindulge – eat, drink or spend too much?

4. Do you have a hard time remembering what you actually like to do for fun and pleasure because it’s been so long?  Do you have a hard time naming more than a few things you like to do just for fun?

5. Do you feel too busy to enjoy the simple pleasures of life? Are you so consumed by your to do list or workload you don’t take time to slow down and notice beauty around you, connect with nature or spend the day in bed reading a book?

 If you answered yes to any of these questions, your soul is starving for joy and you need to get some soul food ASAP! Luckily, I have some right here. The first step is remembering what brings you joy. Grab a piece of paper and write the word JOY in the middle of it. Then, go through your life from the time you were little to now and write down all the things that have brought you joy – things that make you smile, are just fun, make you feel warm inside, and fill you up. Keep going until the page is full. This is called a “JOY PORTRAIT.” Then commit to saying YES to one of these per day for the rest of your life – or just start with a month! And for starters, today, state 3 joy-generators: three things that bring you joy.  Mine are chanting in the morning, dancing in the kitchen or anywhere with my guy Noah, and deep conversations over food with my best friends. Halloween is a time for scary monsters but you don’t need to be one all year round. Commit yourself to bringing back the joy in your life and leave being a witch to the children.

What YOU Really Need to Know About Breast Cancer

Breast cancer is one of the most publicized and misunderstood diseases today. While it is the leading cause of death in women with cancer, overall it’s heart disease that is the #1 cause of death for women. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so it’s the perfect time to address some of the misconceptions about causes, risk factors, and some recent innovations in early cancer detection.

The largest and most harmful misconception is that hormones and HRT actually cause women to develop breast cancer. As a doctor and specialist in Women’s Health and Hormonal Health in particular, I can assure you this is FALSE. The Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) released the results of the largest study ever done on synthetic hormones in early 2002. The ongoing media hype ended up scaring the crap out of women and their doctors. The problem is that the WHI study results were skewed, misreported and misunderstood, resulting in doctors and women avoiding HRT for the next decade.

Most women and even worse – their doctors – base their opinions about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) on this study and the hype surrounding it. What most do not realize is that this was just ONE poorly designed and highly flawed study on TWO bad synthetic drugs – Premarin and Prempro, which were largely no longer used by medical professionals. The women in the study were also older than women who would normally be ideal candidates for HRT.

James H. Clark, the author of one of the papers critiquing the study, wrote: “Most reproductive scientists believe that post-menopausal hormones should be used as preventive, not corrective therapy; therefore, treatment should begin during the menopausal transition.”

In fact, the worst estrogen drug in the WHI study, Premarin (a synthetic drug made from the urine of pregnant mares) actually showed a decrease in risk for breast cancer. Prempro, the other drug studied, showed no statistical increase for breast cancer at all. The media and medical professionals got it all wrong and continue to get it wrong, and women’s health has suffered for it.

It was precisely because of the WHI study that doctors become concerned about liability, as they could potentially be sued if a patient on HRT developed breast cancer. There is a large amount of data that shows that many types of HRT are safe and have positive effects on women’s health and actually reduce the risk of breast cancer. Bio-identical hormone replacement therapy carries no increased risk for breast cancer, and their use in women with hormonal deficiencies or symptoms of menopause also offsets many other serious health risks. The hormone testosterone is also used in palliative breast cancer treatment as it lowers the breast density and, best of all, the recurrence rate.

PREVENTION, RISK FACTORS AND EARLY DETECTION

Understanding the overall risk factors for developing breast cancer and the importance of early detection is key. The survival rate for women with breast cancer is 95% at 5 years – if it is caught and treated early. Regular self-examination of the breasts is recommended for all women, as are annual mammograms after the age of 40.

Risk factors for developing breast cancer include gender – as a woman, you are far more likely to develop breast cancer, but it can also occur in men. Aging is another factor – as you get older and your hormone levels fall, your risk increases. According to the American Cancer Society, 1 of 8 invasive breast cancers occur in women younger than 45, while around 2 of 3 invasive breast cancers occur in women older than 55.

Genetics also play a large role. Between 5-10% of invasive breast cancers are thought to be hereditary due to mutations in BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes. This mutation increases the risk of developing breast cancer at a younger age, as well as ovarian cancer. Awareness of this risk factor was highlighted when actress Angelina Jolie, whose mother died of ovarian cancer, revealed she had opted to undergo a preventive double mastectomy in early 2013, and will most likely opt to have a complete hysterectomy in the future. In the US, these mutations are most commonly found in women of Ashkenazi Jewish descent (Eastern Europe) but they can occur in anyone.

Other risk factors to consider are family history of breast cancer in a close relative, mother, sister or aunt, or a male relative, but overall these account for less than 15% of breast cancers. Race and ethnicity also play a role – Caucasian women are slightly less at risk than those of African descent. African American women are more likely to die from breast cancer, but there are a variety of factors that account for this statistic, including higher rates of poverty and access to preventive care. Lifestyle risk factors include smoking, excess alcohol consumption, being overweight or obese, lack of regular exercise, poor dietary habits, long-term use of oral contraceptives and chemical exposure from the environment through pesticides and hormones.

One of the most exciting developments we’ve seen in the field of early detection for breast cancer is the DtectDx Breast test, designed to be used in conjunction with mammography. The blood test detects markers in the patient’s blood that indicate early stages of breast cancer. Test results allow physicians to decide whether a routine mammogram, more extensive imaging or biopsy is appropriate for the patient. While this test is relatively new, it is particularly useful for women under age 50, as results are not affected by dense breast tissue or scar tissue from previous biopsies. Understanding personal cancer risk factors, the truth about the benefits of HRT and the importance of early detection can all help women make the health choices that are right for them.

How Far Would You Go to Look Young?

A peculiar new facial treatment that involves real life snails is trending in Japan for women in search of a youthful glow!

According to recent news, salons have been using snails to stimulate regeneration of the facial skin and to heal existing concerns such as wrinkles, sunspots and scarring. The snails are said to have the ability to eliminate dead skin cells and calm inflamed skin.

Several snails are placed onto the facial area for hours at a time, allowing the mucus from the snails to secrete and disperse against the skin membrane. The mucus contains properties that are similar to the ingredients we find in most anti-aging skincare products on the market today.

Among its ability to stimulate regeneration, the combination of its ingredients aid in other skin conditions such as these:

·    Heals existing Acne

·    Soothes Sunburn

·    Removes Dead skin cells

·    Acne Scarring

·    Wrinkles

·    Crows Feet

·    Texture and Tone

·    Youthful Glow

·    Aids in Retaining Moisture

·    Heals Rashes

·    Reduces Redness

The snails are fed a diet of 100% organic vegetables to ensure that the ingredients are in the purest and healthiest form. A one-hour treatment costs around $245 dollars!

You know what “they” say; the best healing comes from nature itself. This is most certainly an all-natural, non-invasive, synthetic free treatment for those looking for a safer alternative to healing their skin(!) While it is currently only being used in Japan, there is no telling how soon it could hit salons all over North America. The question is, how far would you go to get that youthful glow back? Would you try this if it were available?

Everyone is always in search of an anti-aging cure. The Japanese have really s-nailed it with this one!

False Fitness Facts Debunked!

Fitness myths are everywhere. There are rules for everything about your health. Some you might already know and some you might not, but whose advice can you trust? That’s a tough question to answer. With all the research that’s constantly being done about fitness and health it’s hard to keep track of what’s been proven wrong.

There are a lot of common fitness myths that are generally mistaken as true. You might even believe them. Hey, it’s not your fault. People who advise others on health and fitness should really be doing their research first. With the amount of information out there, how are you supposed to know what’s true and what isn’t? We’re here to help. Here are 10 of the most popular fitness myths you should know about:

Myth 1: Doing ab workouts will help you get a flatter stomach. This is not true at all! A flat stomach depends on your body fat, which won’t be affected by ab workouts. So if you’ve been doing extra crunches to flatten that stomach, you’re wasting your time. Crunches won’t take effect until afteryou’ve flattened your stomach. Belly fat is what covers your abs. The best way to lose body fat is to combine cardio and strength training elements. If you don’t lose belly fat you won’t see your ab muscles no matter how hard you work on them. It’s as simple as that.

Myth 2: Swimming is an effective weight loss workout. Swimming is a good activity if you want to improve and tone your upper body muscles or increase your lung capacity. But it won’t make you lose weight. Swimming allows for the water to hold up your body so you’re actually doing less work, even though it might feel like more. Unless you’re swimming for several hours each day, don’t replace workouts with swimming. Swimming also causes you to eat more because you’re usually hungrier coming out of the pool. This is why poolside snacks are so common!

Myth 3: The more you sweat, the more effective your workout is. This is wrong because every person’s sweat glands work differently. Some people sweat excessively, while others doing the same workout barely glisten. It’s all dependant upon your body type and your hydration level. Sweating is your body’s way of cooling itself down and not overheating, and you need to keep yourself hydrated because you’re losing water from your body. When you keep yourself hydrated, you’re putting that water back in your body. So don’t worry if you think you aren’t sweating enough. Your heart rate is a better indicator than sweat is when it comes to the effectiveness of your workout.

Myth 4: You have to stretch before you work out. This is surprisingly untrue. Stretching is not necessary before a workout, and some studies have even shown that it’s not good for you. This is because your muscles will become destabilized and less prepared for your workout, which can cause injury. It can also limit your range of motion so you won’t even be able to properly complete your reps. The proper way to start a workout is with a warm up, which will get your blood pumping. Always stretchafter your workout.

Myth 5: As long as you burn off the calories you intake, you’ll lose weight. Contrary to popular belief, this is not true. Nutrition is just as important as exercise itself. You need to make sure that your diet is giving you the nutrients you need to maintain your fitness. Just because that cheeseburger had the same amount of calories that you burned off at the gym (which is probably not true in the first place), doesn’t mean you should be eating it. Make sure your diet is rich in lean proteins and fibre so that your muscle tissues can repair after working out. Always make sure you’re getting the right amount of nutrients from every meal. Include super foods and antioxidants whenever you can.

Myth 6: Diets that don’t allow for cheat days are the most effective. You can rest assured that giving yourself a cheat day is completely fine. Diets that deprive you of a little bit of wiggle room can, and usually do, completely backfire. Depriving yourself is not the answer. Once you deprive yourself of certain foods, you’ll end up binging and losing control the next time you eat them. When you allow yourself to have a cheat day once a week, you’re allowing yourself these delicious foods in moderation, which will satisfy you until the next time you get to eat them. Just knowing that you will get to eat them again will also help you maintain self-control until then. But that being said, just because it’s a cheat day doesn’t mean you can binge and eat badly all day. Allow yourself to have that dessert you want, or get that candy at the movies. You deserve to have some fun now and then. Don’t starve your body, either, because that will also cause you to binge eat.

Myth 7: Women who lift heavy weight will end up big and bulky. Women and men are built differently. Men are filled with testosterone, which is what allows them to bulk up so fast and end up representing the Hulk when lifting heavy weights. In fact, the lower testosterone levels that women have will actually cause women who lift weights to lose weight and slim down faster. Women will not look like the Hulk if they lift heavier weight unless they’re taking steroids. In fact, heavier weights will help women to get their bodies more toned. Don’t be afraid of looking manly, because it won’t happen! If you want to increase your strength training, start with a lighter weight that you’re comfortable with and work your way up to the heavier weights.

Myth 8: Sports drinks are good for exercising. The only time your body ever benefits from a sports drink is if you’re doing high intensity or endurance workouts that last longer than an hour. Forget the drink if that’s not you. These drinks can actually have negative effects on your body post-workout. Your body doesn’t need anything but water after a workout, and sometimes the added sugar and calories from a sports drink can backfire on you. There are also tons of ingredients in sports drinks that are not only questionable, but have no scientific backing to them, despite what the commercials say.

Myth 9: You have to work out at least 5 days a week to lose weight. Everyone’s body is different. That being said, you don’t need to work out every single day. Working out even twice a week is still better than not working out at all. In fact, our bodies often need to reset to repair muscle tissues. This is especially true if you’re doing higher intensity workouts, which you shouldn’t do more than 3-4 times a week in the first place due to risk of injury and muscle tears. You should also keep in mind that working out 5 days a week doing the exact same thing every day won’t help you any more than if you work out twice a week.

Myth 10: The best time to work out is first thing in the morning. Wrong! There is no proper time to work out. It’s all up to you, your schedule, and your body. If you’re not a morning person and can’t get out of bed early, you’ll be less motivated to maintain a fitness routine and will probably fall out of that routine very quickly. There’s no difference whether you’re working out at 8 a.m. or 8 p.m. as long as you’re working out in the first place. So don’t worry about going to the gym after work because you will benefit just the same as if you worked out before work.

While these are 10 of the most common fitness myths, there are still hundreds more out there that you should watch out for. The best defence against a false fitness rule is to do your research. Make sure you have a reliable source, like a fitness trainer, telling you how to work out. If you don’t, you could end up injuring yourself or deterring your fitness results. If you’re not getting the results you want in your current workout situation, you might be following a myth without realizing it.

So if you hear a fitness rule that sounds a little crazy to you, don’t believe it until you have proof it works!

Are You Your Worst Supporter?

Edited by Lesley Cornelius
I first learned about the Impostor Syndrome in 1983 while in grad school. I was sitting in class one day when another student rose to present the findings of a 1978 study by psychology professor Pauline Clance and psychologist Suzanne Imes called “The Impostor Phenomenon Among High Achieving Women.”

What Clance and Imes had found was that many of their female clients seemed unable to internalize their accomplishments. External proof of intelligence and ability in the form of academic excellence, degrees, recognition, and promotions was routinely dismissed. Instead, success was attributed to somehow “fooling” others into thinking they were smarter and more capable than these women believed themselves to be. Rather than offering assurance, each new achievement and subsequent challenge only served to intensify the ever-present fear that they’d somehow managed to slip through the system undetected and it would be just a matter of time before they’d be FOUND OUT.

“Oh my God,” I remember thinking, “That’s me!” What I would soon discover is that I was hardly alone. In fact, early studies by Dr. Gail Matthews suggest that up to 70% of all people have experienced these feelings at one time or another. It’s also not just women. Subsequent studies have shown that the Impostor Syndrome impacts both genders and all races equally.

People who experience the Impostor Syndrome come from all walks of life. They’re executives, police officers, attorneys, sales reps, artists, engineers, teachers, clergy, doctors, students, therapists, and actors. According to Clance, you’re more prone to Impostor feelings if your success came quickly. The writer who publishes a best-seller right out of the gate, the rookie sales rep who lands the major account, or anyone who’s experienced rapid success are more likely to experience feelings of fraudulence. The thought process here is, “I don’t know how I did it the first time, so how could I possibly repeat that success?”

You may also be at-risk if you are a first generation professional, have high achieving parents, work in a job that is atypical for your gender, work alone, work in a creative field (actor Mike Myers once confessed that, “I still believe that at any time the no-talent police will come and arrest me”), or you are a student. Impostor feelings can be particularly acute if you are the first, or one of the few, women or people of color in your field or job setting, where you’re seen as a representative of your entire group. Not having the luxury to be “average” or to fail as an individual unconnected to your social group can lead to intense feelings of self-doubt and fraudulence

Are You an “Impostor”? To the outside world, you appear confident and competent. Yet inside you secretly worry that others will find out you are not as intelligent and capable as they think you are. Each new challenge promises to be the “big one.” You fear that every new project, presentation, or interview is the time where you will finally be unmasked as an impostor, fake and fraud. See if you can recognize these other warning signs of the Impostor Syndrome:

  • You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong. There’s a famous cartoon where a woman trying to zip up her pants says, “I must be getting fat.” In the next panel a man with the same problem says, “Hey, there must be something wrong with these pants!” Sound familiar? When things go wrong on the job, you fault your supposed lack of intelligence or skill when it could just be an impossible deadline. Worse, you tend to personalize your mistakes and failures. So when your boss says your report was inadequate, what you hear is, “I’m inadequate.”

  • You use hard work to cover up your supposed ineptness. There’s nothing wrong with good old-fashioned hard work. However, you persevere over even routine tasks as a way to protect yourself from being found out. You are driven by the belief that the only reason you got to where you are today is because you had to work harder and longer than everybody else. If you let up for even a minute, you fear the “jig” will be up. After all, you believe if you were really intelligent you wouldn’t have to work so hard.

  • You fear success far more than failure. The thought of actually succeeding can be far more stressful than failing. After all, the higher up you go, the higher the stakes get as well. Expectations will be higher. More people will be counting on you. There is farther to fall.

  • You believe your success is a fluke. Sure you’ve gotten good grades, awards, degrees, a prestigious job… but you can explain all that. In fact, you’ve become quite adept at chalking your successes up to such external factors as luck, timing, charm, computer error, the supposed simplicity of the task (“If I can get a Ph.D. in astrophysics from MIT, anybody can”), or to other people’s efforts, pity or stupidity.

On the one hand, we Impostors need to appreciate the incredible creativity that goes into thinking this stuff up! At the same time,  if you’re constantly explaining away your success, you have a serious problem don’t you? If you are unable to claim your accomplishments on a gut, visceral level, then when you’re confronted with evidence of your abilities, it’s emotionally unclear to you how you got there.

Waste in the Workplace The Imposter Syndrome, although experienced on an individual level, can and does interfere with the job effectiveness, productivity and advancement potential of those encumbered by it. This should be of great concern to managers because it affects a company’s greatest resource – its employees. The syndrome can become an expensive problem when it results in:
  • An untapped labor pool: The men and women who experience “Imposter-ism” are less likely to feel qualified for promotions. Hence, they are less inclined to compete for advanced positions. They are more apt to fall into the “expert trap,” remaining in jobs in which they are comfortable and knowledgeable, but have clearly outgrown.

  • Employees reluctant to take risks: Imposters are more reluctant to pursue new ideas and to take business risks which could benefit their companies, and more reserved  about offering potentially valuable insights, ideas, opinions and solutions to problems because they fear being wrong or exposing their “ignorance.”

  • Procrastination: Imposters are also more prone to production-delaying procrastination; “putting off” is a coping mechanism which allows them to postpone the moment of awful “truth,” finding out that they can’t complete a project satisfactorily.

  • Employee stress: The anxiety of expecting to be “unmasked” can cause stress-related problems. Billions of dollars are wasted on its symptoms: low productivity, absenteeism, haphazard communication, below-par performance and sickness (studies show that people under stress are more vulnerable to disease).

In addition, employees caught in the Imposter Syndrome are more likely to see constructive criticism as proof of their ineptitude, rather than use it to improve their skills or increase their knowledge. In turn, they are not as motivated by praise and positive feedback because they dismiss compliments, crediting their accomplishments to luck, personality, or outside help.

How do we combat The Impostor Syndrome? Fake it ‘til you make it. Now and then we all have to fly by the seat of our pants. Instead of considering “winging it” as proof of your ineptness, learn to do what many high achievers do, and view it as a skill. Don’t wait until you feel confident to start putting yourself out there. Courage comes from taking risks. Change your behavior first and allow your new found confidence to follow.

It’s time to Grow A Pair!

People deliver bad service and we take it.

We allow friends to say hurtful things to us without speaking up in our own defense.  We let our government – people we elect and whose salaries we pay –  to take advantage of us instead of fighting back by voting them out.  We sit in theaters and let people text, take and make phone calls, and talk loudly to each other like they are sitting in their own living room, and most of us never tell them to shut up.  We watch people throw trash in the street and never say a word to them.

Businesses seem to be run by bad employees with poor work habits and lousy attitudes, because their manager doesn’t have the guts to discipline them or fire their lazy butts.

Sadly, some people don’t even speak up when witnessing a crime, either because they can’t be bothered to, don’t want to make waves, or because they are afraid.

This behavior must stop!  We all need to learn to act with assertiveness, speak up for ourselves, take a stand, and refuse to accept less than the best from others and from ourselves.  In other words, we all need to grow a pair!

Growing a pair is a state of mind, an attitude, and a way of thinking.  It’s about giving up being a victim and taking control of your life at every level.   It is the willingness to do the right thing, even when everyone else is doing the wrong thing.  It has its roots in personal responsibility, accountability, confidence, and integrity.  It’s about establishing a standard by which you will live your life.  It’s about knowing your values, and becoming uncompromising in your willingness to do whatever it takes to stand up for them.

So how do you grow a pair?  Here are five things you can do to stop being a victim and take control of your life:

  1. Don’t whine.  Whining never fixes a problem, it will only prolong the problem.  Stop blaming.  Stop whining.  Get moving!

  2. Become self-reliant.  No one is coming to the rescue and no one should.  You made the mess and it’s up to you to clean it up.  Do what it takes in every area of your life to be in control of your situation.

  3. Don’t allow people to take advantage of you.  People treat you the way you allow them to treat you.  Stand up for yourself and never let anyone belittle you or disrespect you.

  4. Have clear priorities.  Your time, your energy, and your money always go towards what is important to you.  When you are clear on your priorities, everything else will fall into place.

  5. Don’t compromise your principles.  Know what you believe and why you believe it, and never compromise those beliefs and principles for any person, group, or reason.  Principles are not situational; they are lines drawn in the concrete, and are a direct reflection of your integrity.

What will be the result of growing a pair?  You might be called names and told that you are mean, un-compromising, or arrogant.   Sadly, people with a pair are always going to be misunderstood by those who don’t have a pair.  The important thing is that you can be proud of yourself for standing up for yourself.  So forget what others say, and know you are operating from a place of courage, principle, and integrity.  When you do that,  it will result in more success, better service, higher quality relationships, more clarity, confidence, and dignity.  What could possibly be better than that?

Anti-Aging Myths Debunked

We live in a world where looking younger is something everyone desires. No matter how old you are, it’s likely that you’re always trying to look and feel younger. Due to this cultural obsession, you’ve probably heard so many tips and tricks about anti-aging. There are countless tools and techniques out there for anti-aging and making yourself look younger. These also range from beauty products, to foods, to physical activities.

How do we know what works and what doesn’t? You may be hearing about all the newest things you have to try, but how do you know that they’re not just one of the countless myths surrounding anti-aging? Everyone could use a little clarification, so look no further. Here are some of the most popular anti-aging myths debunked just for you!

Moisturizing can prevent wrinkles. Unfortunately, this is not true. Dr. Oz says that moisturizer doesn’t go deep enough to have an effect on wrinkles. Wrinkles happen because as we age, the cells that hold up our skin get weaker and lose their ability to fill out our skin. Moisturizing is an effective tool against dry skin, but it won’t go much farther than that. To avoid wrinkles, Dr. Oz says the main thing to do is avoid the sun! The sun is one of the main factors in creating wrinkles, so make sure you’re wearing enough sunblock when you’re in the sun, as well as re-applying it every 2 hours.

The pricier the product, the better the results. As we know from experience, this is almost never true in any aspect of beauty and skin care. It doesn’t matter how much your product cost you. According to Everyday Health, what matters is what’s in it. Amy J. Derick, MD, who is a contributor to Everyday Health, says what you’re looking for is tretinoin. Tretinoin is one of the most important creams for wrinkles, and it’s only available by prescription. The price of it varies depending on the specific product. Talk to your dermatologist to get a recommendation for the best cream for you to use to fight aging. Often, the generic brands are just as effective as the name brands when the right ingredients are involved.

Everyone’s skin ages the same way. This is not true. How your skin ages depends on your genetics, how you treat it, and your skin type. Oil naturally moisturizes and protects skin from aging, so if you have oily skin, you won’t see signs of aging as fast or as clearly. If you’ve got dry skin, it’ll start showing fine lines and signs of aging earlier due to less moisture in your pores. The rule of thumb if you want to look and feel younger is the drier your skin, the more effort you should put in to your anti-aging routine.

The more products you use, the better. This might be true for some daily moisturizers, but not for anti-aging products. Dr. Derick advises against this, saying that using more won’t translate to the effect it takes on your skin. These products are formulated to work in recommended doses. If you’re being generous with the amount you lather on your face, you might see some reversed results. When you start piling on the different products, they can start to cancel each other out and you won’t see any effects. There’s also an increased risk of irritation if you use too much of a product, and no one wants that! To top it all off, most anti-aging creams are pretty expensive, so you’re wasting your money if you’re using too much of it. Save your money and your effort by using the right amount.

Products that are made with all-natural ingredients are better because you won’t get side effects. Ladies, this isn’t true. You can just as easily have a reaction from a natural ingredient as you can from man-made chemicals. Some vitamins and plant products can cause irritating reactions in people of any age, depending on your specific skin type. Sometimes man-made chemicals aren’t worse than natural ingredients if your body or allergies have it their way. If you’re using a product and you begin experiencing skin irritations or other uncomfortable side effects, stop using it immediately. See your dermatologist if the reaction is severe.

There is a point where you don’t need to wear sunscreen anymore. This is extremely wrong and dangerous! There is never a point where you don’t need sunscreen, even if you already have sun damage! Some people think that the window for sun damage closes when you’re 18 or a fully grown adult but a lot of sun damage occurs as you get older. Dr. Derick says that anything stating otherwise is a myth. For most people, your time spent outdoors increases as you age, doing things like golfing and gardening. Don’t just rely on anti-aging skin care to save you from the effects of aging, because those products won’t even matter if you’re setting yourself up for sun damage. Your best option is finding a daily moisturizer that has SPF 30 or more built in.

Once you see results and improvements, you can stop using anti-aging products or cut back on their use. Some anti-aging products do allow for this, but depending on the product this isn’t true. Cutting it out will not help you maintain that look for very long, because after you stop using your products many times your skin will just revert back to its old ways. It’s like dieting until you get skinny, and then going back to eating unhealthy. Your body doesn’t just stay skinny if you don’t keep eating healthy, and your skin won’t stay firm if you don’t keep maintaining it. If you’re not sure about your own routine, especially if you’re using a prescription product, ask your dermatologist if it’s safe to stop.

Just to lighten things a little, here are 5 very true facts about anti-aging that you can go on believing with no worries:

  • Sleeping on your back will prevent wrinkles.
  • Having sex helps fight aging.
  • Wrinkles are formed by facial expressions.
  • Your diet has a direct effect on your skin and the aging process, so always maintain a healthy diet for better, younger looking skin.
  • You can get wrinkles at any age.

Don’t believe everything you hear about fighting aging. Some people will tell you whatever they think you’ll believe if it means they can promote their own products. If you’re questioning something you’ve been told, see if it’s got evidence to back it up. If someone’s done research on it, it’s more likely to be true.

The best way to fight aging is by regular exercise, a well-balanced diet, and plenty of rest. This will work better than any anti-aging creams or supplements. But if you want to do something to give yourself a little bit of a push, there’s no harm in that as long as you’ve got the right information.

The Power of Your Mind: Who’s Really in Control?

The word “mindset” says it all. Your mind is set to think in a certain way, and you absolutely believe it (at least until you choose to change it!) How many times have you heard someone say (or maybe you’ve said it yourself) “they are SO set in their ways!” implying that nothing is going to change them or their mind. They’ve always been this way and they always will be.

Where did you get your mindset?

We all have one. Where did it come from? Did we choose what we believe, or did we download it? Surprisingly, most of our beliefs were picked up (or downloaded) before the age of 7. And, who were the biggest influences in our lives at that time? I’ve listed a few below:

  • Parents

  • Grandparents

  • Teachers

  • TV

So, is your mindset helping or harming your success in business, or just life in general? Your mindset determines the choices you make and how you live your life. We all make conscious choices every day and we also have auto-responses like knee-jerk reactions to certain situations, which is where your subconscious mindset comes in. This subconscious mindset is the one that tries to keep you safe. It protects you from failure, embarrassment, and even death! This is why it is so hard sometimes to change your mind. It’s because of all the fears that your subconscious mind is trying to protect you from.

How do you change this ingrained mindset?

1. Decide to change it!

It sounds so simple. If you are choosing to improve your life, then you’ve got to change gears. That means making new choices.

2. Take Action

That is, NEW action. You know the saying that if you keep repeating the same-old, same-old, you get the same-old results? Well, don’t let yourself fall into your same-old ruts!

3. Move through the resistance and release it.

New actions bring up new emotions and old beliefs only tell us why we can’t or shouldn’t do this. Just push through it and keep repeating your new actions. Eventually you will come into alignment (energetically) with your new choice.

To stay focused until you come into alignment. Here are some things that you can do:

a) Focus on the FEELING – I mean REALLY FOCUS! If pictures help, get them off the internet or from your own photo album. You can even draw pictures if that works for you. Pick something that inspires you, that lifts you up, that excites you. You really want to get the E-motion (Energy in Motion) flowing into it and really FEEL it in every cell of your being!

b) Write about it – Choose inspiring, uplifting words expressed in a way that you connect with.

c) Add all the sensory stuff – like smell, taste, sight and sound. Make it as real as you can.

d) Now, sit quietly and breathe it all in – breathe it into every cell of your being. Become it.

4. See yourself as already having accomplished your dream, desire or new destination.

a) Imagine yourself relaxing in your perfect, safe space alone or with a friend.

b) Look back at your life and what you have already accomplished. See how easy it was once you got it? It was really just a mind shift, a different perspective, re-adjusting and tweaking your energy, your frequency, your vibration, just like tuning into a radio station.

c) You are probably laughing now at how hard you made it and how you blocked yourself in so many different ways.

d) Feel the joyful, fulfilling feelings about having accomplished this and more.

5. Embrace your new self and enjoy your new creation!

The Five Sexual Stages

Why is it that some of us enjoy sex more than others? Why are some of us adventurous in bed, while others are more reserved? Do we simply owe thanks to our unique personalities? Jaiya, a world-renowned sex expert, has an explanation of her own: she believes that we experience multiple stages of sexuality, and that each of us falls into one of these five stages throughout the course of our lives.

The Resting Stage: If you’re longing for a sexual connection that you’ve never had before, or you feel a loss of your sexuality, you are currently in the resting stage. In this stage people feel disconnected from their sex lives, but find that they’re still craving something, although they can’t quite pinpoint what it is. You want to be intimate and find passion again, but you’re at a loss as to where you can find it, and whom you can find it with. You may have been single for a long time at this point, freshly out of a relationship that lacked any real connection or maybe even in a relationship that just wasn’t right for you.

The Healing Stage: In the healing phase you are looking to overcome sexual obstacles and heal what is preventing you from fulfilling your sexual desires.Those of us in this category have recently undergone some form of trauma. It could be something physical, such as abuse, or something emotional, such as feeling afraid, guilty or insecure. Others in this category may even be suffering from medical ailments such as pain during intercourse, post-surgery or erectile dysfunction. Whatever the reason, something is currently holding you back from experiencing a fulfilled sex life.

The Curious Stage: Just as it states, you are currently experiencing periods of curiosity. In this phase you are wanting to learn about your sexuality and how you can make it better. Maybe you want to become a better lover, or maybe you want to experiment with new things such as same-sex experimentation or new people. You’re likely wondering about certain positions in lovemaking or how you can increase pleasure to others through oral sex and vice versa. You want to learn more about intimacy.

The Adventurous Stage: This stage is for all of those wild ones who are experiencing sex often and freely. Sexual pleasure is not an issue for you and you’re feeling very content with what you are receiving and what you are giving to others. You are at your sexual prime here and feel extremely confident and forward in bed. The adventurer is unafraid to try new things and is kinky enough to brave even the most taboo sex positions, such as anal. You not only find interest in things such as role-playing, bondage, and anal, but you are forward about trying it, and comfortable with it.

The Transformative Stage: This stage is for those of you who want to move beyond the simple physical pleasure of sex and into the realm of transformational sexual experience. You are likely still discovering who you are and what you enjoy and feel that sex is one of the many outlets to finding yourself. In essence, sexuality is used as a tool for personal growth and self discovery.

Just like every other part of us, our sexual fantasies and desires are unique. We mustn’t feel ashamed or shy away from what our bodies are craving and signaling to us. No matter which stage you are in, there is a wide array of advice for you to take from Jaiya.