Posts Tagged ‘woman’
The Forgotten Women of the Military
WHEN THE TOUGH GET GOING, THE TOUGHER RUN THE FORT AT HOME!
It’s Women Who Run It – Military Style!
Yesterday was Remembrance (Canada) /Veterans Day (USA), and for many in these countries, we took a moment of silence to commemorate the men and women who keep us safe. Today, we wanted to feature some of the unsung heroes of the forces: military spouses. We were lucky enough to speak to four ‘super-women’ whose husbands have been in the military between 13 – 23 years and who are left to run it all while their men are gone for months at a time. We wanted to give them a voice as we can always learn so much from our sister ‘women who run it’. Here is what four strong, opinionated and resourceful Canadian military wives share about coping with long distance relationships, loneliness, communication, careers, kids and running it all: 1. “Hard truth: We are all mistresses with wedding bands on our fingers. Prepare to be alone. He is married to the military; ” Separation is never easy but wives of military men deal with deployments for months at a time, taking care of everything from finances, to childcare, to household repairs and snow shovelling. Although they all admit that it can be exhausting, they have come to rely on neighbours, family, and friends to help make it work. Asking for help when you just can’t do it yourself is a difficult thing to do for a strong, independent woman, but it is something that all of these wives have learned is important in coping and thriving. The other truth is that military families can also move around a tremendous amount which adds to the stress on relationships with family and friends who are left behind. One woman admits, “Intimacy can become collateral damage of friendship. I can only share so much online or through email and phone calls. It’s not the same as sitting in your kitchen sharing over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.” 2. “Making connections with other women in similar circumstances is key.” Nobody is going to understand the life of a ‘military wife’ more than another military wife. The connections these women make are critical to helping them cope. It means putting yourself out there with every new location, learning to meet new neighbours, joining new support groups, putting trust in people you have just met. These women simply don’t have the option to be wall flowers and have to push past any reservations they have to go out there and make friends and connections in each new place they are stationed. 3. “You try to set up a schedule for communication but it doesn’t always work out.” With today’s technology where most of us rely on email, smart phones, or Skype to keep in touch, these women deal with frequent or extended lack of communication from their men. Imagine having to schedule phone calls and skype sessions, but then having to cancel for reasons that you are not even allowed to know or question. A ‘communication lockdown’ happens when troops are overseas and these wives must sit and wait, maybe never knowing what has happened. Which leads to the next point our military wives wanted to make… 4. “Do you completely trust your man?” Trust is a fundamental issue for military couples. The men are gone for long stretches, the women are at home to keep everything going. There has to be absolute trust from both sides, particularly when communication is impossible. One wife admits, “I’ve seen time and again that marriages just aren’t strong enough to get through the military lifestyle.” Hand in hand with that trust is communication. Keeping in touch is one thing, but actually learning to communicate and listen to each other is a skill that many couples lack. When your partner in life is gone for such long periods of time, life goes on at home without him and the wives need to keep a dialogue going, no matter how difficult it can be. “It’s important to talk about everything as it arises because one never know when they will be gone again or for how long. Yet you don’t want to distract them from the job as well. It’s a delicate balance.” 5. “I go where he goes. I take second chair.” Sometimes the levels of sacrifice these women make are something that very few would ever be capable of. All four of our military wives admit that demanding careers are something that are either put on hold or simply not achievable for women in their position. The frequent movement and the demands of being a single parent usually mean that priorities shift elsewhere. While one woman maintains “You can have a ‘career’, but you need to learn boundaries and have different priorities” (including part-time work or shortened hours), another believes “I don’t think it’s impossible but highly improbable for a military wife to have a career. It would take two very special people; highly driven, resilient individuals.” All four women believe that “someone has to keep the home fires burning, and be the constant for the children when your spouse is away that much. Children need stability. They need a soft place to land at the end of the day, or the end of a deployment. It takes a full time job at home to make that happen.” One of our ladies summed it up best when she said “Every hardship I felt along the way prepared me and made me the person and the woman I am today. All the years of ups and downs have gotten me to the place I am in now: confident, capable, courageous, strong. For me, I wouldn’t want to see into the future because if I had all those many years ago, I may not have wanted to take the journey, but I am sure as hell glad I did.” We at Women Who Run It would very much like to thank the four amazing women who opened up to us for this article. Through their honesty and candour, we not only learned what kind of sacrifices and concessions are made by military wives, but are reminded that strong, capable, ‘alpha’ women are in all walks of life and for that, we are grateful.Are You Pre-Diabetic? Every Woman’s Wake Up Call: You Could Be ‘Fat on the Inside’
“But diabetes is a fat person’s disease!” you gasp. “How can a successful, professional woman like myself possibly develop diabetes? I’m not overweight at all!” Well, we have news for you, sister. Woman to woman: it’s time to start re-thinking what we know about type 2 diabetes and how it can affect women just like you (and me!). The fact is that more and more women are becoming diabetic and lifestyle still has a lot to do with it, but not in the way you think. Here’s how it may play out:- You’re a successful 30, 40, or 50-something professional, but you have a lot of stress in your work and home life, so you can’t find the time to exercise like you used to when you were in your 20s.
- You’ve manage to keep your weight down because there isn’t a diet that you haven’t tried over the years. You are the yo-yo queen but that’s okay, because it helps to keep you slim even when you overindulge in sweets or wine.
- And yes, you might still smoke (you’ve been meaning to quit) but you need some kind of stress relief in your crazy day and it’s a way to get away from being chained to your desk. And those cocktails after work are just another way to unwind (although sometimes the nights out with the girls do get out of hand).
- Maintaining your weight through dieting alone: 15% of new cases are not overweight on the outside (National Institutes of Health statistics), but something much more scary instead. These people are called ‘Fat on the Inside,’ which means that dangerous fat stores internally surrounding key organs instead of showing outwardly around the middle as a paunch. Dr. Jimmy Bell coined the term when he made his recent discovery. He determined that these internal fat deposits cause inflammatory substances to affect your liver and pancreas, and lower your insulin sensitivity, putting you on the road to Diabetes.
- Yo-Yo dieting: Every time we drop weight, we lose muscle, but when we gain the weight again, we don’t get that muscle back. Your body clings to that extra fat because it is afraid of being starved again and this kind of fat produces more hormones and proteins, which affects your glucose levels and triggers the start of type 2 diabetes.
- Eating processed ‘diet’ foods or bingeing on fatty, sugary foods: Let’s face it; many diet foods are a minefield of bad choices. Sugar-free foods often add fat, and fat-free foods often add sugar. If you live on anything marked ‘low-cal’ or ‘diet’ you could be doing more harm than good. Add to that the tendency for women to ‘comfort eat’ by indulging in fatty or sugary foods and you elevate the real risk of becoming ‘fat on the inside’.
- Being stressed out all the time: Whenever we experience stress, our body produces the hormone cortisol which gives you that jolt of energy but it also elevates your blood sugar levels. If you are stressed all the time, it is going to take a toll on your body and its ability to handle sugars and fats over the long-term.
- You are smoking and/or drinking: Whether your vice is cosmos or Corona, if you drink more than the recommended amount of alcohol on a regular basis (1 drink a day for women) you will have more of that dangerous internal fat. You also run the risk of chronic inflammation of the pancreas (pancreatitis), which can impair its ability to secrete insulin and ultimately lead to diabetes. Tobacco can increase blood sugar levels as well and lead to insulin resistance.
1) Get Moving: Statistics show that overweight people who exercise regularly are at lower risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes than thin people who are sedentary. Get off your couch, push away from your desk and get moving. Your life might depend on it.
2) Eat ‘real’ foods high in fibre: Legumes, oats, brown rice, fruits, and berries high in fibre all help to regulate blood sugar levels. You get the added bonus of lowering your cholesterol as well.
3) Cut out processed ‘diet’ foods: Don’t believe what the label tells you. A cookie is still a cookie. Think twice about what you put in your mouth.
4) Slow and steady wins the race: Yo-yo dieting is called that for a reason. Get off the yo-you and embrace the slow and steady approach to weight loss. Crash diets will only harm you in the long run and they just aren’t worth it.
5) Take vitamin D: There is some evidence that a lack of this vitamin in your diet can hinder insulin function and glycemic control so make sure you get in those fatty fish, tinned tuna, fortified milk products, and supplements
6) Find a way to fight stress: Exercise is already a great stress reliever, but find other ways to relax and decompress, whether it’s through yoga, meditation, or a lunchtime walk.
Most importantly though, speak with your doctor. It is recommended that women over 40 are to be tested for diabetes every 3 years. Make sure you bring up your concerns with your physician. Diabetes is a very old disease but it is developing a new face because of the stressed, desk-strapped, diet obsessed lifestyles that we women are leading today. Be aware, be informed, and be healthy. We need you rocking your life in the world!