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START OVER SMART: HOW TO RAISE YOUR ROMANCE VALUE

Written by Patty Contenta on . Posted in Issues, Relationships, Dating & Sex

Are you recently divorced and dreading the thought of dating again? Are you feeling anxious about knowing what the new rules of dating are? Are you clueless as to where to meet men? Have you forgotten how to feel sexy? Do you look in the mirror and hate what you see? These are just some of the thoughts that raced through my head when I got divorced. I even felt angry for being put in a position where I needed to “reinvent” myself…why the heck for! I was great with who I was (or so I thought). It all seemed like such hard work…more work to add on my already plentiful plate. How do I start dating again? Well I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be hard work. It doesn’t have to take much preparation or strategizing. It WILL take you being open to using your body as a way to capture men’s attention…and NOT the way you’re thinking. Oh and I do mean…several men! When you learn how to make slight alterations to your body language in order to have a more sensual, confident and feminine look, you’ll become more visible to men. And with this alluring energy, you’ll be able to attract men at any time of day and in any scenario. It’ll be like a volume button that you’ll be able to turn up or down depending on how you feel. This is why you need to master the art of first impressions. 60% of communication is done through the non-verbal. How you use your body language let’s people know how you feel about yourself. So you need to learn the techniques that will give you quick and easy access to emanate your confidence within seconds because you never know when a quality man will show up. The reality of first impressions is…we all make judgments based on little or no information about someone. Our unconscious mind is picking up on subtle cues and giving you feedback. Studies have shown that men are attracted to 5 specific things when it comes to being with a woman.
  1. Looks: This doesn’t mean you have to look like a model but it does mean you need to be aware of how you dress and put yourself together in a way that enhances your assets.
  2. Sexual ‘Openness;: This doesn’t mean you need to be a porn star. It means you need to exude feminine essence and sensuality.
  3. Fun and Adventure: Real life is boring and men want to know that you can be playful and spontaneous.
  4. Nurturance: Men need to know that you care. They can feel your heart.
  5. Youthfulness: A woman that is passionate about life and allows herself to be silly and at times mischievous.
Of all 5 personality traits, the 3 most important are sexy, playful and caring. If one of these 3 is missing then you’re NOT magnetic. You don’t want to only be his sex toy, you don’t want to only be his friend, and you don’t want to only be his mom…get it ladies? You need a combination of all 3 ingredients to be seen as attractive. I know what it means to be a sexual toy. After my divorce I was an angry woman that was using her sexuality to seduce men and then toss them aside…to give them a taste of their own medicine…or so I thought. I was using my sensuality without my heart…and so I didn’t care about the men I met. This formula was completely wrong and depleted my energy.  However, now that I am using sensuality with the right intention….the feeling is PRICELESS! So let’s look at the first aspect men are looking for…Sexual Openness. You see, men want to feel like you are a woman of pleasure. You can indulge in the senses in a manner that gets him out of his head and into his body. Mistake #1: Walking Without a Swish. When your body is pitched forward with your shoulders leaning forward, you are giving the impression that you are carrying the weight of the world. You engage the wrong muscles and therefore you have no hip action when you walk. In turn this can be interpreted as stiff and rigid…even masculine. Mistake #2: Never Touching Yourself A woman that never touches herself tells men that she is uncomfortable and disconnected with her body. A man may think she has issues with her body image and therefore uneasy with receiving and giving pleasure in the bedroom. I know this may sound harsh, but natural confidence comes through in your demeanor. Mistake #3: Never Smiling A smile seems like a simple concept but in the grand scheme of things is huge. A man is always looking for approval from a woman. He wants to know you are interested in him but more importantly that you are a joyful person that leads a happy life. You see, cheerful people are contagious. We all want to be around people that look at the glass as being half full, not half empty. And your smile tells the world which ‘eyeglasses’ you choose to wear on a daily basis. So ladies, be aware that you cannot NOT communicate. It is in our human nature to make judgments, to pick up on subtle cues and then create an impression. What impression do you want to leave a man with?

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Patty Contenta

Patty Contenta began her career in the ballroom dancing community 20 years ago with the Arthur Murray Dance Studio in Montreal. As a professional dancer, choreographer, judge, Master Examiner, international traveling dance consultant and owner of the World renowned Arthur Murray Dance Franchise, she has transmitted her passion for dance to students around the world. You can see images and details of her studio on the website: www.arthurmurraylaval.com As founder and author of Sensuality Secrets, a book and DVD set that helps women over 40 who are struggling with their body image feel sexy, feminine, confident and attract quality male attention without looking cheap or trashy. All a woman needs is a few seconds, with simple and subtle alterations in her body language. Patty has become a sought after speaker and radio guest in North America. You can see images and details of her online business on the website: www.sensualitysecrets.com Patty Contenta has been balancing her 3 businesses (dance studio, traveling dance consultant and online business) for many years now. Her mission within ballroom dancing is to have people experience the freedom of expression that can ignite in an individual to feel a more joyful existence. To create an environment where laughter and learning co-exist. Patty’s mission with her online business is to have women release their resistance with expressing their sensuality. To provide techniques that will lead them to be more playful while creating an inviting environment that will make them more magnetic.