Are You Counting Numbers or Counting Nutrition?
The other day, I came across an intense debate on the ever popular social media outlet, Instagram. A photo of a diet coke can and one of a fresh fruit smoothie had the caption “200 calories of this is better than 0 calories of that.” I swear to you, some people had a field day with that. They couldn’t wrap their minds around thinking that drinking something packed with [good] calories could ever be better than drinking something with no calories. We could get into the issue of aspartame and how detrimental it is for your body and mind, but that’s a different topic completely.
Reading the comments below that image got me to realize that this is an epidemic plaguing most women. They like to see the low numbers on the nutritional information but never bother to look at the ingredients. My morning protein smoothie has about 300-400 calories in it, but I pack it with super-foods that have me energized and full until it’s lunch time. If you decide to drink the diet coke in the morning over the smoothie you’ll notice how it effects your day. It’s the same with all other food too. At this point I have completely tossed out counting calories, fat, carbs, blah blah blah. It’s all bullshit really. If your foods are rich in nutrients, your body will be able to utilize them and put those ‘numbers’ to proper use.
Take for example those 100 calorie packs. The first ingredient is enriched wheat flour. Sounds nice, huh? “Enriched” is actually the opposite of what it sounds like. It means the nutrients have been stripped out of the wheat in order to achieve a better texture and longer shelf life. Once you ingest it, your body breaks down the flour too quickly and adds a huge shot of sugar to your blood stream all at once, and what does it do with all that extra sugar? It stores it in fat cells so that you can use it later…which let’s face it, we don’t always do. So next time you’re wondering where that spare tire in your mid-section came from, give your bread a glare!
The next few ingredients are not a surprise at all: sugar and canola oil. And with the company being Nabisco, a known GMO-supporter, you better think twice before grabbing this “healthy” snack off the shelves. This one example can extend to most “health” foods and foods that are found prepackaged.
So with all of this in mind, why don’t you try half an avocado instead? It’s 160 calories, with 15 grams of fat, but it’s packed with protein and vitamins that have been proven to stabilize blood sugar, prevent cancer and Alzheimers, and even help you to lose weight (avocados are packed with fibre).
Here are some other foods that get backed away from due to their calorie content, even when they’re actually much better for you than many low-calorie meals:
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Peanut Butter: 100 calories in every tablespoon looks a little dangerous, yeah? But peanut butter is rich in proteins and improves your metabolic fat-burning rate – it’s the top alternative to fatty meats that have the same protein count and aren’t nearly as good for you
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Nuts: Not pub nuts so much as walnuts, almonds, pistachios, and peanuts. Nearly 190 calories in each ounce of these but, to be fair, yet you’d be hard-pressed to find better food that’s so rich in fibre and protein and also helps stabilize your blood sugar.
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Olive Oil: So what if it’s great for cooking? 120 calories in each tablespoon of it means people tend to pass on it. But olive oil has been known to protect against certain types of cancer, and it holds anti-inflammatory properties that are linked to a lower risk of heart disease.
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Bananas: In fairness, the calorie count in bananas (120) is almost double what you’d find in any other fruit. But they’re packed with fibre, potassium, vitamin A, vitamin B6, folic acid, and countless other nutrients. They’re basically nature’s nutrition energy bars, made specially for you.
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Granola: Granola gets a bad rap for containing almost 600 calories in one cupful. Yet it’s made from whole wheat and compressed nuts, and often mixed with yogurt and sweetened with molasses or sugar. It’s rich in essential oils, incredibly nutritious, and tastes great.
So forget counting calories and start counting nutrition. It may seem a little scary at first, especially for those who write down every single detail. I challenge you to forget the numbers and instead, eat foods that are beneficial to your health, despite the calories.
You’ll be the better for it! The nutritional benefits will easily outweigh the calorie cost. You’ll have more energy – and you’ll wind up burning off those extra calories in a heartbeat, anyway. You’ll love the food you’re eating and you’ll be happier. If anything is worth a few extra calories, it is certainly that.
Bring On Your Sparkle!
Women have long been told to be modest, to be polite and to shy away from bragging about themselves.
You may be thinking “well of course, that’s just good manners!”
But it can actually become detrimental to your career.
Men were taught to showcase their successes and in turn, we have found that they are more confident in their abilities and more likely to negotiate for themselves in job interviews.
When prepping my students and clients to network or interview for an ideal job opportunity, I encourage them to showcase their sparkle factor. This is the palpable characteristic that highlights their passion, strengths, and authentic interest in the opportunity at hand. The energy you emit is profound when you tap your sparkle factor and this visceral emotion should not be reserved for the job interview alone.
Finding your sweet spot in the career world can be daunting, but the responsibility lies with you alone to play to your strengths and honor your passions in the job you are in or the job you may be seeking.
Identifying what makes you unique requires self-reflection and focus – so get quiet with yourself. Turn off the monkey chatter in your brain and slow down so you will be able to identify what makes you sparkle.
Protect your sparkle fiercely in your professional life.
This is what makes you unique, what energizes you, and what gives the countless waking hours you spend at work meaning and a sense of purpose.
Know Your Distinguishing Factors What sets you apart from the pack? Truly consider your strengths and the energizing skills that you enjoy performing. It’s not enough to be good at something – you must really relish doing it consistently. This is when time flies because you lose yourself in these wonderful tasks. When you can become the go-to person in your organization because of what you do uniquely well, then you can distinguish yourself and become indispensable.
Learn to Bob & Weave If you are not a boxing fan you may not know the origin of this term but the concept is universal. You must be quick on your feet, flexible, and ready to innovate in changing situations. In other words – roll with the punches. The new normal has taught us that resilience matters. Showcasing your sparkle factor may provide growth and leadership opportunities if you distinguish yourself as the professional who is ever-ready to do what it takes to accomplish organizational goals.
Toxic People Can Steal Your Power Positivity is infectious but so is negativity. Minimize the toxic associations in your life and give yourself permission to play to your strengths and focus on what you do well. Power is not given, it’s taken, so never let the toxic people steal your thunder or undermine your value. Be assertive, self-confident and fiercely protective of your sparkle factor. Establish a work culture of having a good day or a great day – both are very strong options and will diminish negative attitudes.
Ask for What You Need The most successful people have a team helping them achieve their goals. Assemble your Personal Board of Directors and don’t be timid about asking for help. Can you do it all? Yes, but not alone, and not at the same time. Tap your tribe and pay-it-forward by having someone else’s back. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a wise distribution of what you do really well. Delegation can provide someone else with an opportunity and it empowers you to do what nobody else can.
Command Respect There will always be people who are fearful and manipulative who may try to squelch your sparkle. Strive to earn their respect, since that is more important than being liked by them in the workplace. You need not win the office popularity contest, but it would be ideal if you earned your colleagues’ respect. People accept what you project so it’s your responsibility to teach them how to treat you. Consider what professional persona you want to put out into the world. How do you want to be recognized? Send that message out loud and clearly to those around you.
Bring it On Showcasing your sparkle is energizing for you and contagious for your colleagues. Consider how you dig deep and deliver. Discuss what motivates you and your colleagues. If you are in a leadership role be sure to ask your staff what makes them sparkle so you can recognize and validate them for a job well done. Employee engagement, or lack thereof is a top factor in retaining or losing great talent.
Love What You Do It all boils down to honoring your values and playing to your passions on a regular basis. If you are in a role where you cannot showcase your sparkle it may be time to consider your career future.
You alone have the power to embrace your strengths, own your self-confidence, and engage your sparkle factor. Spend some time reflecting on what makes you tick. You deserve to sparkle so once you find it – protect it for the precious commodity that it is.
Once you’ve determined your sparkle factor you’ll never again have to give in to self-doubt. You can spend the time you used to spend fretting and put it to good use, like earning the respect of your co-workers, rocking all of your tasks and having great work days!
**Edited for repurpose by Taylor Brown, Associate Editor of Goddess Connections’ publicationWomen Who Run It.
Live Like a Millionaire
If you’re like most of us, you probably plan to budget. You tell yourself when you earn money that you’ll save it, rather than spend it. But it’s easier said than done – without a plan, you can easily find yourself on the final ten dollars of your most recent paycheck, wondering what happened to the rest of that cash and your hopes of saving it.
It’s not the greatest feeling. Wouldn’t you rather avoid it?
In my five-year study on the daily habits of wealthy people I uncovered certain things the wealthy do to create, maintain or grow their wealth.
The 80:20 Rule
This rule requires that you set aside 20% of every paycheck and learn to live off the remaining 80%. You do this no matter how much money you make. If you get a raise or bonus, set aside 20% of that raise or bonus in addition to the 20% of your regular pay. If you stick to the 80:20 Rule you will save a lot of money and you will be wealthy long before you reach retirement age. You will be one of the few among your friends and colleagues because, unfortunately, most parents don’t teach their kids the importance of saving, so nobody saves.
Budgeting & Saving
Below are some guidelines regarding budgeting and saving:
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Don’t spend more than 25% of your monthly net pay on housing.It doesn’t matter if you own or rent. Stick to this 25% rule.
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Don’t spend more than 10% of your monthly net pay on entertainment. This includes bars, movies, restaurants etc.
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Don’t spend more than 5% of your monthly net pay on auto loans and never lease. Leasing is something I call a Poverty Habit. Buy your cars and take good care of them.
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Stay away from accumulating credit card debt. If you are doing this it means you are living beyond your means and you need to cut back on something.
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Always invest your savings prudently. Never gamble your savings on get rich quick schemes. There’s no such thing. The power of compounding can grow your savings and make you wealthy. Saving just $250 a month over 40 years will produce $500,362 at a 5% return.
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Max out your contributions to the company retirement plan. If the company matches your contributions, great. That’s free money. Always take free money when you can get it.
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Know what you spend every month. Create a monthly budget and track what you spend.
Most of the wealthy don’t make a lot of money. But they do save a lot of money. They make a habit of saving until it hurts. They focus on accumulating wealth through savings.
Savings and investments are two different things. Your savings should never lose money, whereas your investments represent a portion of savings that you are willing to put at risk and lose. How much you take out of your savings and invest depends on your risk tolerance. Conservative wealthy people do not put any of their savings at risk. Moderate wealthy people put 25-50% of their savings at risk. Aggressive wealthy people put more than 50% or more of their savings at risk.
If the wealthy invest part of their savings, they typically invest it in one or more of the following:
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Their businesses and their retirement plans.
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Guaranteed products like variable annuities & life insurance.
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Stocks, real estate investments, or gold.
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Education for their children.
Accumulating wealth is not about hitting it out of the park. It’s about getting singles. You get enough singles and you win the game.
In my five year study on the daily habits of the rich and the poor, when it came to money, there were significant differences between the two groups. Let’s take a look at some of the research:
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67% of the wealthy said they are frugal with money.
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8% of the wealthy shop at retail thrift stores.
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85% of the wealthy in my study stated that they have always believed that no matter what, an individual can always save money if they really want to. Only 2% of the poor share this opinion. 73% of the wealthy in my study were taught the 80:20 Rule by their parents.
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6% of the wealthy lease cars. Conversely, 45% of poor people lease cars. Leasing a car is a Poverty Habit. Wealthy people don’t lease cars. They purchase their cars and will drive them as long as the engine holds out.
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16% of the wealthy gamble on sports at least once a week vs. 52% of the poor. 9% of the wealthy play the lottery every week vs. 77% of the poor.
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100% of the wealthy save for retirement vs. only 19% of the poor.
The research speaks for itself. It’s not hard to accumulate money. On the contrary, it can be very easy! Living like a millionaire doesn’t have to involve earning six-figure sums. Like anything worth earning in this world, it just involves planning and commitment. You save, and you save, and you save, even if it hurts. It’s a lot harder to commit to saving than it is to not and say you did. But with these tips under your belt, you’ll hardly feel the difference – just the rewards.
**Edited for Repurpose by Amy Kisaka, staff writer with Goddess Connections.
Redefining Feminism
There is a Charlie Perfume ad from the seventies, depicting “The Woman Who Has It All,” or at least, a very common perception of her. It was an image that stuck with Harvard professor Deborah Spar for a very long time.
The Charlie girl is exquisite: glamorous, successful looking, and clearly holding down some high-power job with her lovely pantsuit and smart briefcase. In some of the ads she is seen heading out after work with friends; in another, she’s clinking champagne glasses with a hot guy on a date; in yet another she is shown clutching the hand of a small, appropriately-adorable child.
Her message is clear: “This is who you want to be, ladies! You too could have it all!”
Well, verbatim of the message is “Kind of young, kind of now; kind of free, kind of wow!” But same difference. As Spar points out, “Who wouldn’t want that?”
Exactly. And hey, more power to the Charlie Girl. If she weren’t a fictional construct for ad purposes, we’d all want to know her secret. Because she made it look so easy. As any of us real alpha women know, the combination of work and family life is not so much effortless handling and breezy elegance, as it is desperate juggling and time-crunching – and situations that don’t always leave you looking glamorous. How big is the gap between reality and the illusion?
Deborah Spar discovered the difference in the grimy ladies’ room of an airport one morning, five weeks after giving birth to her second child. She was on her way to a business meeting, and briefly took the time to pump breast milk for her baby. Her breasts started leaking all over her clean business suit. “So I guess this is ‘having it all,’” she thought ruefully, recalling the Charlie Girl ads and the personal goal she had always striven for. Just like that, a light went on for her.
The feminist movement of the sixties changed the world for half of its population. But as liberating as the movement was, in many ways it brought along just as many shackles and heavy expectations for women, especially those under the impression that the battle was pretty much over.
The knowledge that we can now be astronauts or scientists or Supreme Court judges is a double-edged sword. It opens up a realm of possibilities…followed shortly afterward by the expectations we’ve internalized after spending much of our lives submerged in media images of the Charlie Girl, and other fantasies of what the working woman’s life must be like.
Spar explains what happens: We start thinking “if I can be an astronaut or a Supreme Court judge, why am I not an astronaut or a Supreme Court judge? What’s wrong with me?”
And it goes in other directions.
Business women begin to feel like there is something wrong with them for not having eternally-flawless hair and poise, or a husband and child, or even the time to go on a date.
Working mothers who get caught in business suits stained with breast milk end up feeling like they’re about to drop the ball in at least one aspect of their lives, but are not yet sure whether it’ll be work or family.
Women who back away from the workforce after having children feel like they’ve failed because they couldn’t find a balance.
The running theme is always “why couldn’t I have it all? Why is it not so effortless for me? Society expects it to be.”
Feminism is far from being won. It’s far from perfect. There are plenty of pitfalls to be aware of, and being aware of them is the first step to redefining feminism, and making it work for you.
Recognizing the Beauty Ideal for What It Is We all want to look gorgeous. For many of us, that’s just the ultimate confidence-booster. But ever notice how often the idea of the driven corporate woman is sexualized whenever she appears in the media? It’s not just that she’s expected to be smart and capable but she’s expected to be even more on her feet than the men are to really compete with them. She has to look gorgeous 24/7 on top of all that. It’s another expectation.
Now that’s not to say men don’t face their own expectations in the business world. But let’s face it – they don’t always meet every one of theirs, and it shouldn’t be super-important for us to meet this one. Clearly, you want to aim to at least be presentable in the workplace. But ‘presentable’ should be defined by what we feel good with, not by the standard of beauty demanded by society.
Recognizing that the Fight’s Not Over As Spar points out, we’re still fighting for pay equity. We’re definitely still fighting for a system of sustainable child care in most countries, a system of support for working families, especially those with new mothers. We’re often still fighting for our right as women to have children at all without being marginalized in the workplace due to pregnancy, or the need to take maternity leave.
Women with children, especially newborns, tend to find themselves at a disadvantage when they return to the office – they learn they’ve been taken out of the running for a promotion to some high-level job, or even that they’ve been demoted to a position that’s a little more out of the way. Presumably it’s to allow them better hours, so they can get home to see their children. But it’s hard not to notice how (comparatively) rarely this happens to men with children. And it shouldn’t take surrendering our ambitions to get the time to be a parent. It’s not a personal failure for this to happen, it’s societal. Fighting against it is what should define feminism.
Recognizing the Cons of Extreme-Parenting Spar notes that on the parenting front, it has become a thing in recent decades for parents to micromanage their kids’ lives. Parents decide what instruments their child will pick up, who their playmates will be, what sports they’ll go into, what colleges they’ll apply for…and of course it’s all with the best of intentions. But not only does it utterly cripple the children’s ability to be self-sufficient and independent; it also drains a lot of time away from the parents – especially the mother. Children’s lives don’t need to be micromanaged. And as the mother who wants it all, isn’t this a lot more time that could be spent making it happen?
Women should no longer be feeling the pressure to “do it all!” All that matters is that we feel like we’re doing all we want to, no matter where that falls on societies expectations!
Get The Skinny on How to Dress Your Body
How many times have you caught a cursory glance of yourself while passing a window, or had a photo taken of yourself and upon seeing the result, you cringed? You’ve got a lump here, a bump there and your clothes seem to be doing nothing for you. The woman you saw when you were standing in the mirror this morning is a distant, distant relative of the reflection you’re seeing now.
The problem is that sometimes we have no idea what the solution is. Our bodies are not the ones that we see modeling our clothing. We aren’t of the same dimensions as the store mannequins that first lured us into buying our clothes.
This problem is more common than you know. Many woman have no idea how to dress their bodies. We lose weight, we gain weight, we get older, and we get confused by the new trends, but what tends to stay the same is our unflattering styling.
This problem is so common that it was the topic of a recent episode of CBC’s Steven and Chris. Luckily for you, Women Who Run It was there to interview the show’s Fashion Expert Genny Iannucci to make sure that you get the inside scoop on how to dress to make your body shine instead of spending one more day hiding it.
While you can watch all of the tips by going to Steven and Chris’ website, we also got you some tailor-made (pun intended) secrets straight from Genny herself.
Genny Iannucci’s Dress Skinnier Tips:
1. Dressing skinnier boosts your self-confidence.
“When you feel really good about the way you look it just blossoms in terms of confidence. “
When you feel that confidence it radiates from you in a way that will attract others. If you know you look good, others are going to know it too. Dress skinny and not only will it make you look better, but it will make you more confident and confidence is sexy!
2. Create the nicest, cleaning line on the body.
Genny shared that the biggest fashion mistake is wearing the wrong size. “A lot of times we’re just wearing items that are either too big… Excess fabric is going to add some visual weight…on the other hand, people compensate for that and go too tight. If you go too tight it’s the same thing as wearing something too loose.”
Wear clothing that is as close to your body as possible without any pulling or tugging. Clothing should simply skim over your body.
3. No matter how comfortable a woman should never wear something that doesn’t make her feel beautiful.
Plain and simple.
4. No matter how fabulous a woman should never wear shoes she can’t walk in.
This is for everyone’s benefit. For you, and the people who have to watch you massacre everything that is sexy about the stiletto.
5. Know your body.
“Clothing is cut on a standard and we don’t all fit into that standard.”
We need to know where our body differs from this and know what we want to hide and what we want to accentuate. By getting a good grasp on your body you’ll know what flatters it and what a good fit looks like. A good fit is the biggest battle that women face.
6. Or stick to some fool-proof tips.
Genny always suggests keeping it vertical. Draw the eyes up and down, not across. Go with vertical prints, v-necks, heels that will elongate you, and dangly jewellery like necklaces and earrings to keep the eyes moving.
Her idea of a universally un-flattering shape is a giant, shapeless caftan and her idea of a universally flattering shape is a wrap dress or a great boot-cut jean.
Genny’s best tip of the day came when I asked her what most women don’t know about their bodies. We seem to be so stumped about what fits and what doesn’t, so I was looking for some kind of tip that us women are missing when it comes to seeing our bodies. Genny hit the nail on the head when she replied “how beautiful it is.”
So many times we complain about a part of our body, but we forget that there are other women out there who wish they had what we see as a burden. How often have you heard women of all bust sizes complain? We all tend to want what we can’t have but instead we should appreciate what we do have.
Celebrate your body in all the beauty it is and show it off. Don’t look at dressing as a way to hide, but instead to enhance so you never have to hide from that reflection in the window but instead strut past and think “Damn, I look good!”
Learning to Climb in a Dress
It wasn’t so long ago that the top of the corporate ladder was unreachable to women. The most we could hope for was to look up through a glass ceiling at the patriarchal community at the summit; to watch the male corporate bigwigs as they partied, schmoozed, plotted and formed alliances amongst themselves as the only real contenders for the top position. Whether or not those men were best qualified for that position didn’t always matter as much as whether they’d played the best political game out of all their competitors. And those men knew that – were used to it, even.
The glass ceiling may have shattered, but navigating the path to the top continues to be a challenge for smart, capable women.
The road is cluttered with residual chunks of glass from that ceiling such as:
- Unspoken rules about what it takes to get ahead in a male-dominated culture.
- Leadership standards that were defined in the decades when men worked and women stayed home still exist today.
- Unconscious and even conscious biases that prevail and subjugate our reputation as leaders.
We can improve our odds of landing top, influential leadership jobs by knowing of certain personal behaviors that can sabotage our career advancement. Changing these behaviors can make a profound difference.
Here are three of the most common ways I find women limit their own potential, and several strategies to immediately overcome them:
1. Invisible Woman Syndrome: Slaving at your desk non-stop is a surefire recipe for being overlooked for a promotion or key assignment. You do a great job, but no one notices. You are not given credit for the project that you tirelessly worked on to make the deadline.- Strategy: To optimize your career advancement key stakeholders, who can influence your career advancement, need to know just how good you are at what you do. You must stop hiding out in your office and eating lunch at your desk and start wasting time at the water cooler. In other words – you must get visible! Networking and forming relationships is not a waste of time. It is time well spent. You’re getting to know others who can advocate for your career advancement and perhaps more importantly, help you make things happen in your current job. There are countless ways to get visible: volunteer to participate on a cross-functional committee, invite a colleague to go for coffee or lunch, identify the key connectors in your organization – those who seem to know everyone and everything that is going on. Be sure they know and like you, and know what you do as well. ( Note: these individuals may not be high up on the organizational chart, but they can create great buzz on your behalf.)
2. Political Iconoclast : The term “politics”, when associated with the workplace, is charged with emotions – typically negative. Yet, every organization has the unwritten rule book called “office politics”, which are essentially the rules of the game you play to gain advantage for yourself or a program you support.These rules are understood by the politically astute and seem to baffle those who are politically naive.
The game of politics in the workplace is a fact of life. Love it or hate it, being politically aware and tuned in is essential to thrive in the corporate environment. Yet many women abhor the idea of playing politics and disregard the importance of being politically savvy.
- Strategy: Stop stonewalling when it comes to politics. Find a way to make office politics work for you, versus allowing them to derail your success. It does not have to be a black and white situation where you are either naive and politically off the grid, or slick, slimy, and overly political. Begin by identifying the politically influential individuals in your organization. Observe the informal groups, networks and relationships that possess the power. Build relationships with key players, but proceed cautiously before you align yourself too closely with any one group. This way, you can get the pulse on the politics from all the players in the game.
Notice that I didn’t say having an inner critic was the problem. Everyone has self-doubts and negative thoughts running through their mind at some point. But listening to your inner critic rant about your inadequacies and worse yet, believing the messages are gospel truth, causes a problem. Unfortunately, countless women do listen and believe. Career-derailing behaviors are the result. They don’t speak up and voice their opinion in a meeting. They don’t apply for a job because they doubt they are good enough to land it. They don’t request a promotion because they fear they do not measure up. They are fraught with nerves when they stand on a stage presenting to an audience.
- Strategy: Stopping the chatter is a herculean task, so don’t even try. Just don’t let it stop you! Instead, acknowledge the voice of the critic and talk back! “OK. I hear you saying I don’t have enough experience to apply for that big job. Thanks for your opinion inner critic. But I am going to do it anyway.” Why not? The more you become aware of the negative talk and your tendency to let it stop you, the more you will be motivated to respond!
The corporate game isn’t fair. That’s a given. But when you can’t beat ‘em, you join ‘em, and you can play the game until you get to your rightful role in the company without losing touch with yourself as a person. Work to overcome your personal barriers and misgivings, bit by bit, and soon it will no longer feel like a chore. It will feel like you’re just being yourself…only letting more people know about it.
**Repurposed by Amy Kisaka, a staff writer at Goddess Connections’ publication Women Who Run It.
A Love Letter to Dilma Rousseff
“I once saw a photograph of Dilma Rousseff at age 22,” wrote Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, the first female President of Argentina, in an article to Time magazine. “She was standing in front of a 1969 military tribunal made up of judges hiding their faces with their hands. She exudes defiance. The roles appeared to be reversed: it was Dilma who was indicting, not only the military, but an establishment complicit in the injustice of excluding the majority from power during the two-decade rule of the generals.”At 22, Rousseff’s dark hair was already rocking her classic pixie-cut. And with her thick lenses framing her eyes, she might otherwise appear to have been an unlikely heroine – if not for that same stubborn defiance being reflected in every inch of her expression, making her lovely. The photograph is a famous one. You would think the judges might seem happier at having finally caught “the Joan of Arc of the guerrilla movement,” as she was known by military prosecutors for her integral role in the armed revolutionary struggle of several groups against Brazil’s military dictatorship. Yet those judges were hiding while Rousseff held her head at an obstinate tilt, faced her indictment photo dead-on, and went to jail, where she was brutally tortured there for her devotion to the cause. “We fought and participated in a dream to build a better Brazil,” she has said.
Fast forward nearly forty years, and Brazil has come a long way toward that dream, in large part because “…The woman I got to know in 2003,” writes Fernandez de Kirchner, “…possesses the same commitment as the girl in that picture.”
There are countless reasons to love Dilma Rousseff, 65, and not just because she’s the first female President of the world’s sixth-largest economy, and arguably the most powerful woman in the world. Although, no lie, that is a pretty big one. Few of us could have faced the things she has and come out with those results, rather than being cowed by a dangerous regime. They forbade her from engaging in political activity after her release from prison, and expressly closed many doors to her.
But we love her because she fought that opression by lying in wait for her political moment and seizing it when it came. When the dictatorship lost its grip on Brazil, she became active in one of the few opposing partisan groups, working her way up over the years to the senior levels of government.
We love her because, in a political arena dominated by men, from which she had previously been barred, and with all eyes on Brazil as one of the world’s emerging great powers, she rose to Presidency and has stood her ground on her convictions and has made a commitment to gender equality which has led to a record number of women in high-profile positions of power and one-third of Brazil’s Cabinet being comprised of women.
We love her because she’s done it all with the same iron-will that refused to be cowed by the judges at that military tribunal.
This ladies, is what you might call “the ultimate alpha female” .
Not convinced? Here are a few more reasons to love her:
She’s always the brains and fuel behind the operation
“[Former President] Lula realized that she kept things moving.” – Franklin Martins, guerrilla fighter-turned-minister.
Though she has since tried to deny it, there are a number of reports from her past guerrilla days which cite her as one of the masterminds behind several revolutionary schemes conducted by the Marxist rebel groups who took on the dictatorship. She was one of the most wanted fugitives in Brazil as early as 1967 and her eventual capture three years later was seen as a triumph for the military regime. Rousseff is far from ashamed of her radical past but insists her role was mainly political and organizational.
Her radical stance has mellowed since her youth but those experiences were something that served her well later in life when she began climbing through the ranks of government and holding powerful offices. Her intelligence, managerial skills, and courage in facing difficult situations when they arose caught the attention of then-president Lula as early as 2002. Once he appointed her to be his Chief of Staff she became his protégé and her own presidential campaign started from there.
She always makes the choice to fight, rather than surrender “I voted for Dilma because she is a fighter. What we need is a fighter in the presidency to continue…Lula’s efforts.” – Estevam Sanches, pizza-parlour owner in Sao Paulo.
She did not have to entangle herself in a war against Brazil’s military regime. She could have kept her head down. Rousseff was born to a position of relative privilege in the upper-middle class of Belo Horizonte, the city in which she grew up. Her childhood dreams ranged from being a ballerina, to being a trapeze artist, and somehow guerrilla warfare didn’t make the list. She was in high school when she truly became aware that the “world was not a place for debutantes.”
The political situation in Brazil was getting worse at this time: the military’s generals seized power in a political coup and declared a reign of terror during which they suspended the civil rights of the people. It’s easier to stay out of conflict when it doesn’t directly affect you. Many would argue that it’s smarter too. But Rousseff couldn’t.
Not even when she spent three years as a political prisoner being tortured for information on the whereabouts of her fellow activists. “They gave me a lot of electrical shocks,” Rousseff has said. “I began to hemorrhage, but I withstood. I wouldn’t even tell them where I lived.” Her silence was not for nothing – at the time the “mysterious” disappearances of subversives was almost commonplace.
She paves the way for powerful women to succeed her “Given a choice between a man and a woman with the same qualifications, she prefers to hire the woman.” – Gilberto Carvalho, head of the presidential office.
Rousseff makes a point of appointing women to powerful positions within her office. Her advisory circle is, with one exception, comprised entirely of women. Previously, the political parties were always claiming they couldn’t find enough qualified women. Now “[women] are strong in government, and we have the president to thank for that,” says Marta Suplicy, the vice president of the Senate.
She’s a Power Mom “What is important about my being President is that now all girls can aspire to be President, and it will be seen as completely normal.” – Dilma Rousseff
Rousseff was listed at number two on Forbes’ list of “The World’s Most Powerful Moms 2012”. A mother for decades and a relatively recent grandmother, she has faced her share of personal problems as well, not the least of which being her recent divorce from her husband of nearly 30 years, Carlos de Araujo. Their only child, Paula Rousseff Araujo, currently holds office in Porto Alegre as the Labor Prosecutor.
Paula could have few finer examples.
Love Sucks, but You Can’t Beat It
If love in the real world were like the love seen in movies, we probably wouldn’t need the Hollywood romcoms. We’d be living them. You’d find Mr. Right after a series of amusing hijinx wherein he serves as your fake wedding date, pines for years over you before you’ve even begun dating, and/or gets into a fight with Mr. Right Now – who may or may not be a jerk, but it doesn’t really matter since he’ll obligingly vanish from the face of the Earth. And once the hijinx are over, you’ll get married, be happy, and never have a second thought because… well just because. WARNING: If you’re a hopeless romantic, searching for Prince Charming or Miss Marvelous, you’d better leave now. Because I’m about to steamroll any Disney-drenched happily-ever-after scenarios you have in mind. I’m starting my engine. Go now while your ideals are still intact. You can get yourself some Danielle Steel on Kindle.Okay…I warned you.
“What’s with everyone going on about the ‘hard work’ of marriage?” I used to think. “If it’s so hard, it mustn’t be true love. True love has a meant-to-be-ness about it that’s gotta make everything easier. Like, if it’s THAT hard, then it just ain’t right. Right?” Uh huh.
My relationship with my own self is complicated, how could I expect it to be simple with someone else?
But I was single at the time. My panties matched my bras, my principles matched my big hair, and my astronomical phone bills matched my knack for getting involved with men who lived on the other side of the country. (The long distance fed my romantic longings. Longing. Always loonnnging.)
I’ve done some homework since then. Home. Work.
THE SHITTY FACTS MY RELATIONSHIP RESEARCH HAS UNCOVERED:1. I don’t know a single couple with an easy, let alone blissful, marriage. Okay. ONE couple: Donna and Brad. But they met when they were in their late forties. Brad’s wife had passed away. Donna was just out of a long termer. Within months of declaring their total and utter devotion, Brad discovered that he had cancer. They fought it with every known form of alternative therapy, and every dime and ounce of faith they had. They’re still going strong. It really is the stuff of love stories.
But back to the rest of us normal, non-Buddhist schmucks who got hitched earlier in life…
2. Most of my married friends have seriously considered leaving their mates more than once.
3. Within just the first year of marriage, at least half of my married friends and acquaintances thought to themselves, “What the hell have I done?”
4. Of all the longtime wed folks I’ve surveyed, each reported long, hellish periods in their relationship where they were merely enduring each other to get by.
Bubbles burst. Dreams get steamrolled. Imperfections and cruelties of life are made glaringly clear. Crap facts noted. Love stinks.
And love keeps going in spite of it all.
THE DELIGHTFUL, SWEET AND RADIANT FACTS MY RELATIONSHIP RESEARCH HAS UNCOVERED: 1. I have friends whose confessed infidelities blew a cyclone through their lives. And they sorted through the wreckage to build something better than before. “The affair was the best thing that ever happened to us,” they say.2. Couples who’ve rallied to beat addictions, have sweated and toiled to overcome them – tirelessly and without rest, because everything depends on victory.
3. One of my wisest friends figures that it took about thirty years for him and his wife to simply be nice to each other. Now there is a certain euphoria in their familiarity. A grace has settled in. He says that sometimes it’s magical. So if you’re out there thinking that the smoochy hot couple has got it easy, ha! Think again. If you’re down to a teaspoon of hope, envying the love stories on the other side of the fence, remember that while they were smiling for the cameras, Joanne Woodward was putting up with Paul Newman’s boozing in the early years. Fridah Kahlo’s beloved Diego chased skirts all through Mexico and New York. Cleopatra waited a long time for her man. Love and doubt aren’t exclusive. In fact, they can be the most fantastic dance partners. Give and take. Trust and turn. Bliss requires sweat.
It requires work, and a lot of it. It requires compromises, scheduling time to be together and even the occasional fighting. It also requires endurance when dealing with the rocky times, and really getting to know your partner, learning the most important things about them – which takes years, rather than months. It’s certainly worth it. But you can’t even come close to bliss without those years of sweat. It just doesn’t work that way. Sorry, Danielle Steel.
**Repurposed by Amy Kisaka, a staff writer for Goddess Connections’ publications Women Who Run it.
It’s Money Season: Five Steps to Less Stress in Your Money Life
Seasons change – winter, spring, summer and fall. We have a holiday season, hockey season and bathing suit season and we have Money Season. Each brings up specific images, memories, decisions and actions.
With the January to April Money Season upon us, images and memories will come up and decisions will need to be made. We have all had to make choices around our money and we have all certainly made good ones and bad ones over the years. For many, Money Season is cause for extra stress and anxiety. A BMO study showed that the looming March 1st RRSP (Registered Retirement Savings Plan) deadline causes stress for 60% of Canadians, often causing them to make rash decisions. More than 70% of Americans say that tax filing is “stressful” or “very stressful” and studies show that this stress leads to health issues, more fatal car accidents and more challenging relationships.
Reduce your stress, get better results, and have more fun with your money by making the time and taking action now – before the deadlines arrive. Here are five great steps that you can take to make your Money Season merry.
Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change. ~Jim Rohn
Get clear on what is important We spend all kinds of money on things we don’t care about, and often don’t even want because we don’t have a compelling reason not to. Instead of following the oft-given advice to tracking expenses, start your money life game plan by getting clear on what is important to you.
When you have a compelling reason to do something differently, it will change the way you think about your money. Your priorities, dreams, and goals can guide your Money Season decisions. Brainstorm the dreams you have and the goals you will achieve to get there. Start by matching your money to your goals, instead of spending on things you don’t really care about.
Have a conversation We don’t talk about money in our society. More than 60% of us are spending more than we make or living close enough that a late paycheck would make us nervous, but we don’t talk about it.
Start a conversation. Talk with your spouse, your best friend, your banker, a financial advisor, or a money coach. Just start talking. Whether you are on your own or you are making financial decisions with a spouse, schedule time to look at your money life. Set up a regular Money Meeting and use it to create your game plan, make decisions, tackle the tasks, and adjust the plan. Grab the Money Life Toolkit for an agenda with which to host your own Money Meetings.
Divide and Conquer Spread out the money crunch by contributing regularly instead of trying to come up with lump sum amounts. Set up monthly savings amounts into your RRSP or Roth IRA (Individual Retirement Account) avoiding having to come up with it at the deadline.
If you have a business or work on contract, set aside 25-40% of what comes in for your income taxes and other deductions, so you aren’t scrambling in April. Check with your accountant for the percentage that makes the most sense for your situation.
Look at your big annual expenses and divide by twelve to set aside an equal amount each month, ensuring that the money is there when you need it.
Use your tax return to get closer to your goals We seem to forget that our tax return is our own money being returned to us. It is not found money or free money or a gift from the government. When we see it as free money, we think about it differently and often spend the money before it even arrives. Article after article will show you how you can blow that tax return on stuff and more stuff, but this year, do it differently.
Go back to your compelling reasons and consider how you can use that money to bring you closer to your goals. Consider paying down debt, pre-funding expenses, or saving towards a great goal. You could use it to create an emergency fund, or make a lump sum payment on your mortgage. Still not sure? Here are nine ways to use your tax return to get you thinking.
Plan something fun Take a break from the planning, organizing, and decision making to enjoy life! It is easy to get into a funk around your money, which can filter into the rest of your life. Keep your spirits up and remind yourself why you are doing all of this anyway.
Get out of the house with someone fun – your spouse, your kids, your girlfriends. Go for a hike or skate in the park. Go to the art gallery or out for coffee. Host a potluck or organize a euchre tourney. Plan something cheap and cheerful and fun – play, laugh and celebrate life.
This Money Season, make new decisions. Take new actions and create new images for the future. Small steps lead to big results. Work hard, play hard, and create the money life that works for you. Enjoy!
Do You Know What’s in Your Cosmetics?
It’s not often that we bother to do our own research on those long-and-complexly-named chemicals that we find on the back of our cosmetics. I can hardly reel off the ingredient list on my face cream, let alone my toner and concealer.
Can you?
We tend to recognize the particular ingredients we’re allergic to. And maybe there’s that one product that has been making headlines for being recalled off the shelves, or that other dangerous chemical compound we’re warned to be on the lookout for. But as for the rest of them? So long as they give us a healthy glow and don’t cause us to break out in hives, they pretty much pass Go with us.
No matter; surely the companies that produce these products know what they’re doing. We can trust them to have done the research and keep us safe…can’t we?
“Can you believe what they put in this skin cream?”, my daughter (a biologist) exclaimed to me over the phone one day, before reciting a long list of chemical ingredients. “Donʼt they know how bad petrochemicals are for you?”
The truth is, while extensive FDA regulations require cosmetic manufacturers to provide unadulterated products that are labeled correctly, they are not required to prove the safety of their products. They may be held liable for damages, but unlike drug companies, they are not required to test their products extensively before sale. Plus, imported cosmetics are rarely inspected at all.
So it could be years before dangerous or negative side effects from cosmetics are discovered. We are basically guinea pigs in a massive experiment to determine the long-term safety of our cosmetics.
As we continue to discover increasing numbers of harmful ingredients previously assumed to be safe, it becomes clear that it is up to us to protect ourselves from the potential dangers of volatile man-made chemicals in cosmetics.
The world we live in now is not the world of our grandparents.
Literally thousands of man-made chemicals flood our environment in our food supply, in the air, on our clothes (flame retardants), in pesticides and herbicides, in building/housing materials, in plastics, and in our soaps, shampoos, and make-up. Who knows how severe the cumulative effects of these exposures will be?
My personal philosophy is to minimize my familyʼs exposure to man-made chemicals as much as possible. That means eating organic food, using natural products for cleaning, and buying organic or natural personal care products. It is somewhat ironic that natural products generally cost more, even though fewer numbers of ingredients are involved. However, just as processed foods are cheaper to produce than real, whole foods, cosmetics and body care products that use pure, high quality ingredients are often more expensive than those made with synthetic substitutes.
Since quality goods do regularly cost more, we all have to make compromises while choosing the products we can afford. However, some ingredients are more harmful than others and should definitely be avoided regardless of cost. The following ingredients are thought to be problematic because they either disrupt hormones (endocrine disruptors), cause cancer (carcinogenic), or they are toxins:
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Parabens: Endocrine and reproductive disrupters.
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BHA and BHT: Endocrine disrupters and carcinogens.
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Diazolidiny Urea (also DMDM hydantoin, imidazolidinyl urea):Releases formaldehyde in the body/carcinogenic.
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Dibutyl Phthalate: Suspected endocrine disruptor and reproductive toxicant.
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Diethanolamine: Possible carcinogen.
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Sodium Lauryl (th) Sulfate: Possible carcinogen.
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Petrolatum: Possible carcinogen.
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Parfum (fragrances): Allergens, carcinogens, and neurotoxins.
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Triclosan: Endocrine disrupter / causes antibiotic resistance.
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PEG – Polyethylene Glycol: Carcinogen.
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Siloxanes: Suspected endocrine disruptors and reproductive toxicants.
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Coal tar dyes (CL + 5 digit # or FD&C): Heavy metal toxins and carcinogens.
Keep an eye out for these synthetic additives in your personal care products, and consider substituting for safer alternatives when possible.
After checking your personal care products, be sure and read your lipstick container next. A disconcerting study published in Environmental Health Perspectives showed the presence of heavy metals in 75% of lipsticks tested. A full 100% contained the metals chromium, manganese or aluminum. No amount of lead is considered safe for human consumption, and lead is easily swallowed when lipsticks containing it are applied (and reapplied) to the lips. It is worth the extra effort and cost to find lipstick that doesnʼt contain lead or other metals.
Many cosmetic producers argue that there is no danger from their products because our skin provides a protective barrier that is not easily penetrated. But we know that if the particle size is small enough or the base cream used is soluble, then products like hormone creams or medicine patches are easily absorbed through the skin.
We also know from blood and urine tests that hundreds of these additives have indeed found their way into our bodies. Since we donʼt know the cumulative effects of recurring man made chemical exposure, a wise precautionary position could be to assume that any chemical placed on the skin can potentially be absorbed.
I have heard the argument for years that since every chemical out there has the potential to kill us, why bother being careful? Something is bound to kill us someday. But there must be a thoughtful balance between complete denial of potential danger and paranoid overreaction.
Since my personal bias is to consider food the solution for every problem, (food is our friend!) I naturally consider organic foods a viable substitute for some personal care products. Foods and herbs can provide natural, inexpensive, and safe alternatives and they are literally safe enough to eat! Foods high in antioxidants and healthy fats not only benefit the body from the inside, but can help from the outside too. Here are a few possibilities:
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Organic, virgin, cold-pressed coconut oil: It contains lauric acid, an antifungal, antiviral, and antibacterial fatty acid. It works wonders on dry patchy skin.
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Cucumbers: These are thought to help decrease puffiness around the eyes due to their high antioxidant content. Cooled chamomile tea bags produce a similar effect.
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Organic apple juice: It is a natural toner and astringent.
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Egg whites: They help remove oil from skin, and an egg white mask has astringent properties to firm saggy skin.
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Antioxidant-rich avocados: They are moisturizing and full of healing vitamins.
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Brown sugar: Mixed with olive oil and a little water, it makes an excellent exfoliant.
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Full fat sour cream: It contains alpha hydroxyl acid, which improves skin tone and texture.
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Cornstarch: It can substitute for loose powder to soak up excess oil on the skin.
Natural plants and herbs can provide the cleansing and nurturing ingredients we need to stay healthy when eaten internally or absorbed through the skin externally. Why risk the dangers of synthetic chemicals in products when Mother Nature does such a fabulous job producing superior products naturally?
I know itʼs overwhelming to make drastic changes all at once, so start slowly. Take baby steps and begin by reading the ingredient list on products you are using now. As they run out, consider replacing the worst ones with natural alternatives or products made without dangerous additives. Over time, you can proactively decrease your exposure to undesirable synthetic chemicals and minimize the risk of the side effects they produce.
It’s always better to be vigilant, and to do the research on your own. The companies that produce our cosmetic and care products have their own interests, and there is no guarantee that they will line up with yours. By fully understanding what your own interests are, what results you want out of your makeup products, you can find out the safest, healthiest ways of getting those results and looking great – no dangers included.
**Repurposed by Amy Kisaka, a staff writer for Goddess Connections Publication Women Who Run It.