How To Be Happy – At Any Age!
“Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.”
Frank Sinatra sang it in My Way but how many of us can say the same? My biggest regret is the time I’ve spent worrying and being anxious -especially about the small stuff in life! Literally it makes me sick and gets me nowhere.
The UK Guardian* published an article about an Australian palliative care nurse, Bronnie Ware who wrote a blog, and eventually a book, on the top five regrets of the dying. The message hit home – big time!
In this youth obsessed culture, we do not respect or even want to see our elders. They are a reminder that no matter how many creams, potions, and diets we use, we are all headed down the same inevitable path. Morbid? No. I think of it more as being extremely shortsighted. Because who is better able to tell us – more accurately and with more insight and experience – what REALLY matters in life than those who are facing the end of it?
Counting down, here are the top 5 regrets outlined by Ware’s book and some lessons they can teach about how we can all lead happy lives, no matter our age.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Happiness is a choice. We lose sight of that when we get bogged down in the minutiae of living day to day. Ask yourself “Am I happy?” and if not, “why not?” Simple yet not necessarily easy because the answer may not be something you want to hear.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Make time for coffee, send an email or a card to that girlfriend who lives across the ocean. These are the people who choose to love you not out of some sense of familial obligation but because they truly want to be around you, to listen to you, and share in your life.Study after study has shown that people with more friends, particularly in old age, live longer. Don’t let these relationships drift away due to distance or apathy.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
How many times have you bottled up what you were feeling in order to keep the peace? Bottling up your true feelings is not only stressful, but manifests itself physically. Sore backs, neck aches, ulcers… Men are taught not to show sadness in order not to appear weak, women are taught not to show anger, to remain demure and feminine – it is an epidemic in our society. As I say: to be a “Babe In Total Control of Herself” you need to be able to “party with your inner B.I.T.C.H.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
This one isn’t just for men anymore. If you are a “woman who runs it” then you know what it is like to need a least an extra two hours in a day. Find time for pleasure. Put your smartphone away while you have dinner with your family. Yes, many of us love our jobs, but a truly healthy life is one that is well-rounded and leaves time for rest, relaxation, and pleasure as well as professional accomplishment.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
How many of us are in floundering relationships, or jobs that we hate, because we were afraid to make a radical change and pursue what we truly want? So many expectations are piled on women, from our children, our spouses, our bosses, and society that it can be almost impossible to hear that tiny voice whispering to you that there could be something more, something better. Always make time to listen for that voice. Clear your head, meditate, sit quietly in a cafe, and listen. Would your life choices be ones that your 90 year old self would condone? If not, time to rethink.
(*Source: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying)
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the DyingMargaret Thatcher’s Reign: Eulogy or Roast?
Margaret Thatcher: A Role Model by Default? Dos and Don’ts as a Woman with Power
When a powerful woman dies, her status as a woman is still the big issue.
Of course having a female Prime Minister in Britain was, symbolically, a huge step for women. Yet making her an insta-role model skips the most important idea behind that symbol: that women are worthy of success, not because they’re women or in spite of it, but for the value of the work they do. While her tenure as Britain’s PM is considered an important step for women, it’s also being criticised – and rightly so – for her anti-feminist sentiments and harsh social policies. Thatcher called the very movement that made women voting and holding office possible “poison” and opposed social programs. That women who value the idea of women in power (a.k.a. feminists) are willing to criticise someone who succeeded isn’t just sour grapes; it’s a sign that women can and should be evaluated for their individual strengths and weaknesses, rather than the stereotypes they are expected to fulfill. This, if nothing else, Thatcher could probably agree with.
Here are some tips on how to get ahead as a woman and stay there on your own merit:
1. Do support other women. Don’t support poor decisions. Siding with someone based purely on their sex is both unprofessional and unhelpful in equalising the work world. If a woman is making bad business decisions, supporting that woman’s mistakes only weakens the argument that women are “just as good as men.” Favouring women because men favour men is reactionary, not proactive. While being supportive in a largely male-dominant work world is important, so is maintaining the integrity of your support. If you want to show support for those who have made mistakes (all of us), help them rectify the situation. If you support other women who make decisions as well as you do, you make stronger business connections and improve the chances of women being taken seriously.
2. You’ve heard this a million times, and that’s because it works. Do make strong connections, and lots of them. Learn and remember people’s names. Make a point of keeping track of who has what useful skills, and who might need yours. Don’t limit yourself to the people at the top of your industry. You never know what new, promising talent you could make use of or what new, exciting things they might be in on, and if you remember who helped you out and gave you your chance at success, chances are they will too. Do expand your connections beyond your immediate industry – you never know who you might need or who might need you. Maybe there’s some cross-sector partnership you could miss out on if you only talk to those directly in your field. Don’t, however, get so caught up in pleasing people that you never make the tough decisions. Not everyone will agree with your work ethics or your social stance as a businessperson, but hopefully the ones you want to do business with will. 3. Do be confident about your skills. It’s hard at weak moments to think your skills are worth the money, the promotion, the recognition. Women seem to struggle with this more than men, perhaps because the list of areas in which we are encouraged to succeed doesn’t start with “career.” However, the likelihood is that you know how to do something that could be very valuable to others, but if others can’t see it, it might as well not exist. If you’re not sure what sets you apart, sit down and think about it. Look at your resume and remind yourself of all the things you have accomplished. Instead of taking criticism as a sign of personal failure, evaluate it for helpful growth points and act on them; discard the rest. Don’t be intimidated by other people’s success—learn from it, be inspired by it. Don’t settle for something below your education and skill set just because you think it’s all you can get. Do be proactive about maintaining and updating skills. Pick up a book on the subject, check out continuing education (though don’t get so focussed on the need for more knowledge that you stop focussing on your end goal), or even try a quick Google search to see if the gaps in your knowledge are as big as you thought. Everyone can use a little inspiration sometimes, and learning something new might give you some even if you’re doing fine with the skills you have. The Cliffnotes version: know your skills, know their value, and act on your knowledge. Go big or stay home. 4. Do know and value your market. Don’t forget that you are serving real people with real concerns. There’s a community of people in your town, city, country – out there in the world – who could benefit from whatever you’re working on. Believing you can make a difference in others’ lives also helps with #5 on our list.5. Do remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. In the midst of deadlines and bills it can be easy to forget why you started out on the career path you’ve chosen, but remembering what interested you in the first place will help you to commit to your work. Another benefit is that when your customers/client base see how much you value their needs, they’ll value you more in return. If things are starting to feel stale work-wise, see if there’s something you can do to rejuvenate your enthusiasm. If you are resenting work because it’s taking up your family, social, or personal time, try to see if you can balance things out. Leaving work on the dot at the end of your Tuesday or Friday and taking the time to relax will make you feel less harried and improve your productivity.
Sometimes thinking about your status as a woman is important. Equally important is remembering that you should feel valuable because you’ve earned the right to feel that way. The whole point of the women’s movement has been to try to give women the opportunity to be valued for themselves rather than the sum of their physical parts. So value yourself and your work because you and it are useful. Really believe in the movement’s message. Then go out and do something with that belief!
Squeezing the Zest out of Life: 5 Things I Learned from Gary Null
Let me introduce you to a man who has his Ph.D. in human nutrition and public health science. He has authored over 90 books on the subjects of health, aging and beauty, nutrition and politics. He has directed over 20 award-winning documentaries. He has hosted his own talk show for the past 33 years and he owns a line of health-boosting products. Oh yes, did I mention he sleeps only 4 hours a night!? I’m sure you must have figured that a man that busy didn’t get much sleep. Who is this man? His name is Gary Null and for 35 years he has been one of the foremost voices in the health movement. Not only has he spent his life passing on his knowledge to us, but he also passed it on to his daughter, Shelly Null. Shelly has written multiple cookbooks herself, including one for children. Gary has instilled in her a focus and appreciation for health that has found its way into every facet of their lives.
Gary Null not only has his health under control, but his life as well. Gary shares so much inspiration with us, from how we should choose our food, to how we should live our lives. He has so much to teach and here are just a few of his pieces of sage advice that can help you truly live a happy, healthy and well-rounded life:
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Our Health is Key
Gary has dedicated his entire life to being healthy and helping others to do the same. This quest for health has completely taken over his life. He has talked about it, written about it and made movies about it. He must think this is truly important to be focusing so much of his attention on it. If we learn anything from Gary Null, it should be that health is something we should steadfastly focus on. Of course you or I don’t need to focus our life’s efforts on it, but it is a lifetime focus. What does that mean? It means that while we don’t need to let the world revolve around our health efforts, staying healthy is something that we should spend our entire lives trying to maintain. Is there really anything more important than your health? You can lose your job, you can lose your house, you can lose your lover, but it won’t be until you lose your health that you truly find yourself in risk of losing something that you may not be able to be put back together.
Gary understands this. The man is nearing 70 years old and showing no signs of slowing down. Because he has such a handle on all things in health, he wants to share that with others. He wants us to take our health into our own hands so that he can see us live long and healthy lives. Who would complain about a request like that?
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Keep it Natural
Being very well acquainted with all things health, Gary knows that there is more to well-being than fruits and vegetables. Making good food choices goes beyond counting calories and knowing the fat content of your meal. We need to know where our food comes from. Gary is a huge activist for natural foods. If you were to stumble upon his Facebook page you would see that this is no secret. His page shares photos that show us which fruits and vegetables have the most and the least pesticides in them, and warns us of the harming effects of corn starch, GMOs (Genetically Modified Organisms) and other additives. You can’t leave his page without wanting to run to your cupboards and throw everything in the trash. This is what Gary Null wants. Not only does he want us to be healthy, but he wants us to do it the right way. We can guzzle down diet sodas and frozen dinners that boast low calorie content all day long, we may even find ourselves looking better in the process, but health is not all about how you look. Eating natural and organic foods will lead to true health inside and out.
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We Must Take Our Inner Health and Apply It To Our Lives
Gary is a huge believer in living a healthful life. That doesn’t just include eating foods that are good for you and going on a regular jog. He wants us to live a mentally healthy life too. By avoiding a life of secrets and deception, we take a load off of our conscious and can live freer. “I realized that every time someone lied or avoided being honest, they had to create a maze. And they kept going down a different path and down a different path in this maze…Whereas, if you told the truth, everything is open, nothing is confined…You’re not coming from guilt or shame, conditioning or fear, or insecurity, or uncertainty. You’re simply coming from the truth as you know it.” Gary thinks that if we place our attention on higher values then we can improve ourselves, manifest our full potential and benefit the lives of others. So being selfish is actually good for everyone. When we make ourselves the best we can be, we make the world a better place and can help others do the same. Gary is a walking, talking example of this. By focusing on his health and passions he has been able to pass them down to us and help improve our lives as well.
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A Successful Life Does Not Mean a Selfish One
If you couldn’t tell from his worldview, Gary is not a selfish man. He has dedicated his life to helping others and making sure that they too find an inspiring life path. Shelly has shared that she has always remembered her father giving out free nutritional counselling. He has also been known to give out underwear to homeless people on the streets. Giving back is obviously important to Gary. He has focused his entire life on the quest to help others.
Despite all of his knowledge and his impressive career in helping others, Gary refuses to be called a guru. He feels that that gives him too much power. The power is in our hands, not his. “I believe in not attaching to the outcome anything that I share with the people. So I put the information there, and it’s for the person to decide whether there is value in it or not.” Talk about humble. After a lifetime of researching, helping people and living his teachings, he still doesn’t see himself as a voice that everyone should listen to. He knows that he can help others but the decision, motivation and accomplishments all rest on them.
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Don’t Be Afraid To Stick Up For What You Believe In
Gary is largely known as an activist. He has never been one to stifle his opinions because they make someone uncomfortable. A lot of this may have to do with the fact that he sees these opinions as being able to enrich and even save people’s lives. Gary has spoken out against additives in food, modern medicine, political leaders and even entertainers. While his opinions can come off as radical, such as his opinions on HIV and cancer, it becomes evident that Gary isn’t trying to be outlandish, he’s just trying to help us. As he said before, he puts his information out there and it is up to us to decide if there is value in it or not. We cannot fault him for showing us different perspectives. So what is one way that Gary Null wants us to achieve this healthy lifestyle? Juicing! Gary and Shelly have written a book together called The Joy of Juicing: 150 imaginative, healthful juice recipes for drinks, soups, salads, sauces, entrees and desserts. The book is on its third edition and includes juices that will cure anything from PMS to fatigue. Besides offering common remedies, juicing can benefit you in so many ways:
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It can help you lose weight
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Juices can give you energy
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It’s a great way to get in those fruit and vegetable servings
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It can improve skin and hair
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Juices can provide a great source of vitamins.
And it’s not just juice! Gary and Shelly give your recipes for almost everything under the sun, even desserts! That’s right, dessert! My favourite seven letter word! You won’t be starving yourself, you’ll be feeding yourself with nutritious and delicious meals.
One of the best things about The Joys of Juicing is that it’s not a book about some crash diet featuring water, cayenne pepper and lemon juice. Could Gary and Shelly really boast a healthy lifestyle if they told us we should shun solids until we reach a size zero? No. That’s why they truly do focus on health. Juicing doesn’t have to mean living on liquids. Juicing is getting the delicious taste and nutrients from fruits and vegetables in order to create great drinks, snacks, entrées and, here’s my favourite word again; desserts!
Gary and Shelly’s book is a must-grab if you value living a healthy life. We could all learn a thing or two from the book and Gary’s worldview. I know I have! It’s up to you to assign value to it, but in my opinion Gary is sitting on gold here!
The Joy of Juicing is part of our Ultimate Sweepstakes from Women Who Run It! on Facebook. Not only are we giving away an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite with The Joy of Juicing on it, but it is also filled with five other books by amazing from inspiring authors.
Enter Now: https://womenwhorunit.wpengine.com/Ultimate
Super Foods for a Super YOU!
After the holidays or in preparation for a big event (such as bikini season), many go on a “detox”. Juicing is one way to go about this. As always there are healthy and unhealthy routes. A detox does not involve near starvation techniques or only drinking juice cocktail loaded with unnecessary sugars. Instead Dr. Gary Null offers in his book The Joy of Juicing dozens of healthy, satisfying, and filling recipes made with fresh ingredients. However not all of his recipes are for smoothies but even include salads, main dishes, and desserts! Many include the below listed 18 Super Foods. Each one packs multiple nutritious values and supports a healthier you! Just Click on the PNG image below or Click here for the Health Boosting Properties of 18 Super Foods – PDF Version. Share it with your friends! Special Thanks to Julija Burcar for the design. Enter The Ultimate Sweepstakes From Women Who Run It! for chance to win an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite with Gary Null & Shelly Null’s book The Joy of Juicing and 5 other great titles.Over-Prescribed and Under-Informed: You May Have Been Misdiagnosed!
If you were prescribed anti-depressants would you take them? Would you accept the diagnosis and try to move on with your life? I’m sure you’re thinking “of course I would!” The answer seems so straightforward, but the truth is that it’s not. Sara Gottfried is a woman who knows this all too well.
In her thirties Gottfried was suffering from what she calls the “ 4 ‘F’s’ – frazzled, frumpy, fat, and you can imagine the fourth ‘F’.” When she made the decision to change these things, she found herself prescribed with anti-depressants. While some women may have seen this as a welcome answer to their problems, Gottfried would not accept her diagnoses. Gottfried is a Harvard trained M.D., a yoga instructor and nationally recognized, board-certified gynecologist. For such a health-oriented person, this diagnosis was not welcomed. She was already feeling like “burnt toast” and antidepressants were not going to help. Many of the side effects of antidepressants are issues that Gottfried was already dealing with. Did she really want to exacerbate what she was already feeling, such as a decreased sex drive and weight gain, plus add symptoms such as anxiety, insomnia or fatigue, dizziness and a slew of other issues? She stared at her Prozac prescription contemplating her choices and thought to herself “I don’t think the answer is antidepressants. In fact, they only are effective if you have major depression and that’s the minority of people who take them.” Because of this she chose to search for something else, a different and better answer.
The truth is that Gottfried’s story is far too common these days. “We live in a culture that is obsessed with using prescription drugs as an answer to health,” Gottfried warned. One in four women across the age ranges is taking a drug for mental health, and one in seven men are doing the same. When you look specifically at women between 40 and 55 you find that one in four women are on an antidepressant and most of these women have a hormone imbalance and just don’t know it. Half of these women , or 50%, have high cortisol, 20% have low thyroid and they are treating these issues with the wrong methods. If we think about the time between 40 and 55 in a woman’s life what is she going through? Do you think this is a more depressing time for all of these women or do you think it’s more likely that they are simply experiencing the hormone sabotage which is menopause? The answer seems so clear when we think of it this way but for some reason we have found ourselves more likely to believe the diagnoses than the idea that it could be a lot more simple than having a mental illness. Gottfried, like so many other women, found herself prescribed with an antidepressant but instead of taking her prescription, she found herself a cure.
The Hormone Cure is not only the title of Gottfried’s life changing book, but also the way that women can actually fix their problems, not just treat them. With The Hormone Cure we are addressing the cause, not just the symptom. For women there are three hormones which, when out of whack, can lead to feeling Gottfried’s Four “F’s.” Gottfried calls them her “Hormonal Charlie’s Angels.” These hormones are Cortisol, Estrogen and Thyroid. These hormones are “little hinges that swing big doors.” Having any of these hormones too high or too low can cause a barrage of symptoms including:
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A fried hippocampus (which regulates emotions and memory consolidation)
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Increased risk of Alzheimer’s
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Increased risk of diabetes
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The storing of belly fat
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Low sex drive
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Low energy
By getting these three hormones into the perfect zone that Gottfried calls the “goldilocks spot” you’ll be reversing all of these symptoms. By reaching this “goldilocks spot” you will:
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Keep a young and clearer mind
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Lose weight
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Regain your sex drive
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Have better orgasms
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Increase productivity
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Restored sleep
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Increase your energy
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Feel happier
Are you with me now? Of course you are! Those sound like some amazing rewards for finding your “goldilocks spot!” Now the next question; how do you find out what’s out of whack? Dr. Gottfried has created a hormone quiz specifically for women to help them see which hormones they need to focus on. This quiz will change your life!
Find it here: http://thehormonecurebook.com/quiz/
Why should we as women be so focused on this issue? Women across all age ranges are outnumbering men as takers of antidepressants. We’re being prescribed younger and younger and we’re not the ones who are profiting, it’s the pharmaceutical companies. Instead of investing in pills, we need to invest in our health. Not only will The Hormone Cure change the way you think about your health, but it will also let you take your health into your own hands. Gottfried took her health into her own hands the day she decided not to take the Prozac and to find the real cure for her issues. Now she’s giving you the chance to do the same. With Gottfried’s method you’ll be eating better, exercising less and enjoying life more. With The Hormone Cure you’ll still be popping pills, but these aren’t filled with chemicals, they’re filled with supplements. Instead of suppressing your body, you’ll be fueling it.
The Hormone Cure is here because “feeling moody, asexual, tapped out, dried up, stressed out, and sleep deprived” is not a symptom of being a female. In her book Gottfried combines natural therapies, rigorous scientific testing and her questionnaire to help you follow an individualized plan that will change your life in a much more positive way than a bottle of Prozac will. Gottfried’s book is part of our Ultimate Sweepstakes from Women Who Run It on Facebook. Not only are we giving away an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite with Gottfried’s book on it, but it is also filled with five other books by amazing and inspiring authors.
Enter Now: https://womenwhorunit.wpengine.com/Ultimate
Women And Antidepressants In English Speaking Countries
Not to be a “Debbie Downer” but let’s talk about depression. Recently there has been an increase in the volume of anti-depressant medications being prescribed to women. This is not just a local trend but rather a global trend particularly in English speaking countries such as the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom and Australia. Women’s mental health has become a topic of discussion and doctors, in the above mentioned countries, follow similar instructional backgrounds while practicing in similar medical environments, where pharmaceutical industries and governmental regulatory agencies impact the prescriptions that doctors write. So, are you more at risk to be depressed because of your country of residence and language? Or rather is this a question of diagnosis and treatment due to similar medical mindsets? See the linked infographic to find the statistics of women and antidepressants. Just Click on the PNG image below or Click here for the Women And Antidepressants In English Speaking Countries – PDF version. Share it with the your friends and loved ones! Special Thanks to Julija Burcar for the design and Christiane Kuehn for the research. Enter The Ultimate Sweepstakes From Women Who Run It! for chance to win an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite with Dr. Sara Gottfried’s book The Hormone Cure and 5 other great titles.Medicating Womanhood
While depression impacts the lives of men and women it has been found that women are more susceptible to depression than men. Also, women across the board are being prescribed more antidepressants. While mainly an issue for middle aged women, antidepressants are being prescribed to girls as young as the age of 12. When I was 12 none of the girls I played with were on medication for depression. However this begs the question are people just more easily overwhelmed these days? Are doctors over eagerly prescribing antidepressants? Or are women just becoming more open about their mental health? Check out these interesting stats! Just Click on the PNG image below or Click here for the Medicating Womanhood – PDF Version. Share it with the women (and men) in your life! Special Thanks to Claudine Casabonne for the design and Christiane Kuehn for the research. Enter The Ultimate Sweepstakes From Women Who Run It! for chance to win an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite with Dr. Sara Gottfried’s book The Hormone Cure and 5 other great titles.Remember the Ladies – Famous Firsts In Law
Abigail Adams is famously known for writing to her husband John Adams during the Continental Congress in 1776: “I desire you would remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could.” It seems that Mr. Adams did not listen to his wife and it was not until 1920 that American women were given the right to vote. However, this did not stop women from expressing themselves in other ways by becoming lawyers and running for various positions in office. Below are some famous firsts in representation for women beginning in 1869. Just Click on the PNG image below or Click here for the link to Famous First by American Women In Law – PDF Version. Share it with your friends! Special Thanks to Julija Burcar for the design Enter The Ultimate Sweepstakes From Women Who Run It! for chance to win an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite with six books and other great prizes.Why Are There Too Few Women Leaders?
It is a fact that men hold the majority of leadership positions, especially in government and business. Just like last week’s look at women in Supreme Courts across the world, women in leadership are a prized few. In the link provided please explore several interesting statistics about women in leadership today. However, I believe these figures will change as today more women are attending college and earning higher degrees. Just imagine what this up-and-coming bunch will do! They are motivated and have been well advised by those such as Sheryl Sandberg, author of Lean In. Sandberg urges women to take charge of their careers. Many times women come to a point when they put their careers on hold to start a family. Sandberg urges women to keep working full speed ahead right up to the end rather than slowing down. Think of a race, one runner does not slow down before the finish line, but rather fully runs through the finish…before taking her victory lap. As the women who run it, remember to run smart ladies! Just Click on the PNG image below or Click here for the Why Are There Too Few Women Leaders? – PDF. Share it with your friends!Special Thanks to Julija Burcar for the design and Christiane Kuehn for the research.
Enter The Ultimate Sweepstakes From Women Who Run It! for chance to win an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite with Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In and 5 other great titles.
You Are Being Lied To
Does this really surprise you?
At this point in your life do you actually still believe that people are telling you the truth? Please!
Business writers and success gurus are not telling you the truth about what it really takes to be successful. They don’t care whether you are successful or not. They want to sell books or programs or whatever and will say what it takes to do it – even when what they are saying makes no sense at all.
There are simply no secrets to being successful. When you see the word “secret” you should run! And when you hear that someone has a brand new concept for how to be successful, beware.
You don’t need anything brand new; you need to go back to the old and simple stuff that makes sense. Instead of 500 books about the secrets of customer service, try this: Be nice. Sadly, that seems to be the biggest secret in customer service.
Instead of 600 books on the secrets of selling, try this: Ask. Just ask people to buy. Ask, ask, ask, ask, and ask. Become a master asker.
Instead of reading 700 books about the secrets of leadership, try this: Lead. Get out in front of people and give them something to follow.
“So, Larry, are you an expert? How do we know you are telling us the truth? Aren’t you just trying to sell us a book, too?”
All I really am expert at is being stupid and learning from it. In fact, I could be the poster child for stupidity. The key is that I learn from my stupidity. I pay attention to my mistakes. I have become an expert at not making the same mistake twice, and learning from every stupid thing I have ever done. And I have become pretty good at communicating it.
And of course I want to sell you a book. Hopefully, lots of books. I am a businessman. I do this to make money. I wrote this article to eventually make money because of it. Everything I do is to make money. I don’t do this out of some overwhelming need to change the world or to change people’s lives. Everything I do is to make money. The world doesn’t want to change or it already would have changed all on its own and without any help from me. People change their lives when they want to, not because I want them to. No book ever changed a life and no speaker ever did, either. People have the power to change their own lives and no author or speaker should take the credit for it. That statement alone should answer your second question: Am I telling you the truth?
In fact, I am totally addicted to the truth. The cold, hard, ugly, ‘like-it-or-not truth’! At least the truth as I see it. That’s all any of us can really do: Tell the truth as we see it from our own experience, our personal perspective and in our own style. So I will tell you the truth – my truth.
Here are my truths about business. See if they make sense to you. If they do, give them a try. If they don’t, give them a try anyway. Chances are what you are doing might not be working, so give my ideas a try. After trying them, if they don’t work then move on and try what someone else has to say. And know that you are a little closer to discovering your own truth. If they do work, throw yourself a little party because you have learned something that works.
Larry’s Truths About Business:
Apathy is killing business. Employees don’t care whether they serve the customer well or even if they serve the customer at all. Managers don’t care enough to make sure employees are serving customers or doing their job. And customers don’t care enough to complain because they are confident not much will change even when they do. Want things to change? Care.
Attitude doesn’t matter. Motivational gurus have made trillions of dollars telling us that having a positive attitude is the key to success. Wrong! You can be positive all you want and still be positively wrong, positively lazy and positively stupid. I don’t always have a great attitude. In fact, many times I have a really crappy attitude. That makes me a real human being. Things go wrong and affect my attitude. Luckily, I am not paid to be positive. You aren’t paid for your great attitude either. You are paid to do your job. I’ll take Mr. Crappy Attitude who gets the work done, and you can have Mr. Positive who believes that there are no problems, only opportunities.
Who cares if your employees are happy? I have employees and I don’t care whether they are happy or not. I don’t pay them to be happy. I pay them to do the job. Know what? They don’t care if I am happy, either. They just want me to do my job so they can get paid. It’s not about being happy. It’s about getting the job done. Besides, I learned a long time ago that I couldn’t make another person happy. I can’t be happy enough to make them happy.
You don’t have to love your job – but it helps. Too much has been said about loving your job. Even I used to fall into this trap. You don’t have to love your job to be good at it – but it helps. I don’t love what I do. Oh wait, you think speaking and writing is what I do? It isn’t. I only spend about 100 hours a year on stage. That’s two weeks work if you put it all together – barely enough to count. That stage time is the part of my business that I love and it is the payoff for what I really do for a living. I travel for a living. I pack my crap, go the airport, put up with the security stupidity, and the abuse of the don’t-give-a-damn flight attendants, only to get there and wait an hour for my bag that statistics say has probably been pilfered, then get in a cab that smells like crap driven by a guy who can’t speak English and drives out of the way to pad his bill, then check into a hotel where they can’t find my reservation so I can order up some room service that will be late and cold and wrong. Then I go on stage, love my hour I’m up there and start over again. That is the reality of what I do for a living. I don’t love what I do most of the time. I put up with it because I love those hundred hours. And I’m not complaining – the hundred hours is worth the trouble or I wouldn’t do it.
The good news is that none of us are paid to love our jobs. You aren’t. You never got a check notated in the notes section, “Because he loves his job.” You got your check because you did your job, not because you loved your job. If you love your job, that is a bonus.
Not firing people is a cancer on your business. People don’t do their jobs. You see it every day. I know I do. I go into businesses where I have to beg people to answer a question or pay any attention to me. I have to break up conversations between workers in order to get them to take my order and my money. And they don’t get fired. Why? Why do we let people by with not doing their job? Fear. We are afraid. We spend so much time and money worrying about the rights of the employee that we forget about the rights of the business. If an employee isn’t doing his job – isn’t earning his money – isn’t doing what he is paid to do – he has no rights. Fire him.
Keeping a bad employee destroys your credibility with your other employees. This is inexcusable because ultimately the person who suffers most is the person who should suffer least: the customer.
Do the right thing no matter what. Ethics is a matter of black and white – not grey. It’s either right or wrong, good or bad, hello or goodbye, you are either in the way or on the way. How will you know whether something is the right thing to do or the wrong thing to do? If you have to ask, it’s the wrong thing.
Larry’s all time best advice for business success:
Do what you said you were going to do, when you said you were going to do it, in exactly the way you said you were going to do it. You won’t ever get any better business advice than that.
Be there when you said you would be there. Deliver when you said you would deliver. Call when you said you would call. Be a person who can be counted on by keeping his word every time.
“If I do all of this, Larry, will I be successful?”
Beats me. Success is a funny thing. Sometimes you can do everything right and it still all goes wrong. If you don’t understand that, then you are naïve. So I can’t guarantee your success. However, don’t do any of these things and I can guarantee your failure.