Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’
START OVER SMART: HOW TO RAISE YOUR ROMANCE VALUE
Are you recently divorced and dreading the thought of dating again? Are you feeling anxious about knowing what the new rules of dating are? Are you clueless as to where to meet men? Have you forgotten how to feel sexy? Do you look in the mirror and hate what you see? These are just some of the thoughts that raced through my head when I got divorced. I even felt angry for being put in a position where I needed to “reinvent” myself…why the heck for! I was great with who I was (or so I thought). It all seemed like such hard work…more work to add on my already plentiful plate. How do I start dating again? Well I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be hard work. It doesn’t have to take much preparation or strategizing. It WILL take you being open to using your body as a way to capture men’s attention…and NOT the way you’re thinking. Oh and I do mean…several men! When you learn how to make slight alterations to your body language in order to have a more sensual, confident and feminine look, you’ll become more visible to men. And with this alluring energy, you’ll be able to attract men at any time of day and in any scenario. It’ll be like a volume button that you’ll be able to turn up or down depending on how you feel. This is why you need to master the art of first impressions. 60% of communication is done through the non-verbal. How you use your body language let’s people know how you feel about yourself. So you need to learn the techniques that will give you quick and easy access to emanate your confidence within seconds because you never know when a quality man will show up. The reality of first impressions is…we all make judgments based on little or no information about someone. Our unconscious mind is picking up on subtle cues and giving you feedback. Studies have shown that men are attracted to 5 specific things when it comes to being with a woman.- Looks: This doesn’t mean you have to look like a model but it does mean you need to be aware of how you dress and put yourself together in a way that enhances your assets.
- Sexual ‘Openness;: This doesn’t mean you need to be a porn star. It means you need to exude feminine essence and sensuality.
- Fun and Adventure: Real life is boring and men want to know that you can be playful and spontaneous.
- Nurturance: Men need to know that you care. They can feel your heart.
- Youthfulness: A woman that is passionate about life and allows herself to be silly and at times mischievous.
How To Soothe His Ego While Holding onto Your Purse Strings
Ah, the holidays. Shopping, gift-giving, parties, cocktails, family get-togethers. All of that fun and frolic doesn’t come cheaply and this time of year can be a bit of a drain on the wallet. Luckily, you’ve worked hard to get to where you are in your career. Now you have the extra money to treat those special people in your life and have a little fun while you’re at it. But is this causing friction between you and your man? We asked Jennifer Stokes, bestselling author of Imagine Finding the G spot (oooh – where did your mind go to??) for advice on what an ‘alpha girl’ is to do when the number of zeroes on her paycheque outnumber that of her man. In the interview with our Editor-In-Chief, Fiona Fine, Jennifer explains to us how to negotiate this tricky situation. “There is nothing more demasculinizing to a man than you making more money than him. It is like taking his balls and putting them in your briefcase and going to work with them.” Dramatic? Maybe a bit, but men themselves are often at a loss as to why they feel this way. They love strong women who are bold, confident and sassy, but at the same time, they do not like to be made to feel that you as that woman, can get along without them financially or otherwise. So, here are some tips for all of you strong, successful, super-achieving women out there on how to stroke his ego and smooth any ruffled feathers:- Find that one thing he is really good at and where you may not excel. Play it up. Is he a great cook? Is he super handy? Even if you’re no slouch in those areas yourself, make him feel invaluable. Gush a little and downplay your abilities just this once. You’ll be glad you did as he will want to prove himself even more.
- Remember what it was like when you struggled with money yourself. Most of us have been there. Think of how you wanted to be treated when it was you and apply this to your man.
- If he is the more responsible one in terms of paying bills on time and looking after the finances, let him. There is usually one ‘banker’ in any couple and if you know it’s not a skill you possess, there is no reason why he can’t look after your joint account, even though he is not the primary earner in the relationship. Note though, the bills must be paid from a joint account that you can access at any time, and you MUST still look at them so that you will always know what is going on. Sticking your head in the sand just to appease the situation won’t work well if it blows up.
“You can’t change the past but you can start paying the attention for the future.”
Of course, there is a chance that no amount of ego stroking on your part is going to help the situation. Nobody goes into a relationship expecting divorce but if the worst happens, it is important to know exactly where your finances stand. Jenn Stokes maintains that joint accounts should exist for paying the household bills such as mortgage, cars, and utilities, but that women must have a separate savings account called an ‘imagine account’ where they can put their investments, as well as a credit card in their name alone. This is the emergency fund, the mad money, even potentially ‘the getting through a divorce’ money. One last piece of advice if you are faced with some stressful times? Know your banker. Ignorance is not an excuse when it comes to your money. In the case of a potential split you need to know exactly what is happening in all of your joint accounts and to make sure bills are still being paid. You may need to freeze accounts or credit cards or lines of credit. Having a relationship with the bank and a knowledge of all your accounts will save some potentially big problems down the road if a disaster happens. In the end, it’s all about control and knowledge, something that every ‘woman who runs it‘ should understand. You are making your own money, and even if you think he needs a little ego stroking, it does not mean you should ever give up controlling your own finances. To get where you are in life, you have worked long and hard, so even if you have to play it down around your lesser-earning man, take pride in your achievements and find a way live it up this holiday season and celebrate your accomplishments.Interview with Dr. Gayle Joplin Hall
Divorced? Dumped? Duped? Has your relationship gone sour?
Trying to hang on to your man or wanting to kick him to the curb? Either way, we can tell you how.
We have the scoop from Dr. Gayle Joplin Hall on what to do if you Can’t Live With Him, Can’t Live Without Him.
If you can’t live with him, Dr. Hall and our Editor-In-Chief Fiona Fine discuss what to do it he’s
- dragging his heels on his way out the door
- how to get him out of your life for good
- the one BIG reason guys usually leave and what you can do about it
Listen in and find out what to do … no matter which side of the coin you are on!