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Give Your Relationship the Gift of Confidence

Men are attracted to confident women.

No matter what way you look at it, a man just wants a woman who feels good about herself.  He doesn’t want to spend all of his time worrying about what you’re feeling about yourself at any given time.  He wants a woman who knows who she is, and knows she’s a gorgeous goddess with a ton to offer him.

I have seen this countless times in my own life and in my friend’s lives.  Whenever insecurities hit, the relationship starts to show cracks.  As soon as jealousies arise, fights start.  He wants the confident woman that he met to show up in the relationship and you, as a woman, want reassurance and love from him.  He can’t and won’t want to give you that reassurance when you’re whining that your legs are too fat or you question if he still loves you.

It’s important to step into the role of the confident woman that you were when you first met (that is part of what being a “goddess” is all about!)  You probably haven’t gained any significant weight since you first met him and if you have; he probably hasn’t even noticed.  If you think he doesn’t love you then you need to first reflect on where that insecurity is coming from.  Does he actually treat you differently with tangible examples, or is it based on an insecurity and therefore all in your head?

Some insecurities have their justifications but if you react every single time something pops up into your mind it’s going to start having its effects on the relationship.

When the insecurities start showing up for you, there are a few things you can do to calm yourself, think rationally, and keep the drama down.

1.  Breathe

When something comes up for you; stop.

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Instead of reacting to it, respond.  Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself and to really take the time to allow yourself to feel the emotions you’re feeling.  It’s okay to feel the emotions.  Emotions are natural and come up for a reason.  This doesn’t mean that every emotion needs to be expressed, but rather felt in awareness and silence in your head.  Once you’ve done some breathing you’ll find that the emotion releases and even recedes and you can think more rationally upon it.

2.  Reflect

Is the emotion you’re feeling truly justified?

Once you’ve done your breathing and have calmed down to a point where you can really reflect upon the emotion; determine if it’s something that is real or if it’s only your perception.  Did he really cheat on you – or are you imagining suspicious phone calls in your head?  Once you take the time to really look inside yourself for the answer you’ll then know how to respond to it.

3.  Let it Go

If you determine that the emotion is unjustified then you need to let it go.

Hanging onto a negative emotion is toxic and will only cause you more grief.  If it’s not justified then allow it leave.  Exercise, dance around your living room, hug a tree, or go out into a field and scream your head off; whatever you need to do to get that emotion out of your head so that you can move forward.  Once you’ve let go of the emotion you can return to your calm and centered self and things will be much improved.

Obviously emotions are justified yet many emotions don’t need to be expressed in the exact moment; before you react and emote with every single emotion that pops up, try the above steps first.  He will appreciate it and it will strengthen and nurture your relationship in more ways than you can imagine.

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Fiona Fine

Fiona Fine is an Author, Speaker and the Editor-In-Chief of “Women Who Run It: Your Life – Your Love – Your Terms”, an in-box magazine that advocates for and empowers strong successful women around the world; women who are used to running the show at a high level and know how tough and often isolated it can be as a top professional juggling career, relationships, family, health & fitness, and community, while still finding personal time. After a long, unfulfilling and unsatisfying relationship and years in the traditional male world of engineering, IT and corporate recruiting, she decided to put the pleasure back into her existence and to start living life more on her own terms. Now she advocates for women (like her) who wonder how to keep it all from unravelling but still have a harmonized life of love, work, passion and …fun! She is the founder of Goddess Connections (Where Women Create Their Footprint in the World). She is also growing a movement: “How To Put The Fun Back Into Dating” to help women who are at the end of their dating rope to reignite the excitement and fun and create amazing love lives. You can find her at www.goddessconnections.com, www.fionafine. com or on www.facebook.com/fionafine