Give Your Relationship the Gift of Confidence
Men are attracted to confident women.
No matter what way you look at it, a man just wants a woman who feels good about herself. He doesn’t want to spend all of his time worrying about what you’re feeling about yourself at any given time. He wants a woman who knows who she is, and knows she’s a gorgeous goddess with a ton to offer him.
I have seen this countless times in my own life and in my friend’s lives. Whenever insecurities hit, the relationship starts to show cracks. As soon as jealousies arise, fights start. He wants the confident woman that he met to show up in the relationship and you, as a woman, want reassurance and love from him. He can’t and won’t want to give you that reassurance when you’re whining that your legs are too fat or you question if he still loves you.
It’s important to step into the role of the confident woman that you were when you first met (that is part of what being a “goddess” is all about!) You probably haven’t gained any significant weight since you first met him and if you have; he probably hasn’t even noticed. If you think he doesn’t love you then you need to first reflect on where that insecurity is coming from. Does he actually treat you differently with tangible examples, or is it based on an insecurity and therefore all in your head?
Some insecurities have their justifications but if you react every single time something pops up into your mind it’s going to start having its effects on the relationship.
When the insecurities start showing up for you, there are a few things you can do to calm yourself, think rationally, and keep the drama down.
When something comes up for you; stop.
Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Instead of reacting to it, respond. Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself and to really take the time to allow yourself to feel the emotions you’re feeling. It’s okay to feel the emotions. Emotions are natural and come up for a reason. This doesn’t mean that every emotion needs to be expressed, but rather felt in awareness and silence in your head. Once you’ve done some breathing you’ll find that the emotion releases and even recedes and you can think more rationally upon it.
Is the emotion you’re feeling truly justified?
Once you’ve done your breathing and have calmed down to a point where you can really reflect upon the emotion; determine if it’s something that is real or if it’s only your perception. Did he really cheat on you – or are you imagining suspicious phone calls in your head? Once you take the time to really look inside yourself for the answer you’ll then know how to respond to it.
3. Let it Go
If you determine that the emotion is unjustified then you need to let it go.
Hanging onto a negative emotion is toxic and will only cause you more grief. If it’s not justified then allow it leave. Exercise, dance around your living room, hug a tree, or go out into a field and scream your head off; whatever you need to do to get that emotion out of your head so that you can move forward. Once you’ve let go of the emotion you can return to your calm and centered self and things will be much improved.
Obviously emotions are justified yet many emotions don’t need to be expressed in the exact moment; before you react and emote with every single emotion that pops up, try the above steps first. He will appreciate it and it will strengthen and nurture your relationship in more ways than you can imagine.
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