Author Archive
Fiona Fine
Fiona Fine is an Author, Speaker and the Editor-In-Chief of “Women Who Run It: Your Life – Your Love – Your Terms”, an in-box magazine that advocates for and empowers strong successful women around the world; women who are used to running the show at a high level and know how tough and often isolated it can be as a top professional juggling career, relationships, family, health & fitness, and community, while still finding personal time.
After a long, unfulfilling and unsatisfying relationship and years in the traditional male world of engineering, IT and corporate recruiting, she decided to put the pleasure back into her existence and to start living life more on her own terms. Now she advocates for women (like her) who wonder how to keep it all from unravelling but still have a harmonized life of love, work, passion and …fun!
She is the founder of Goddess Connections (Where Women Create Their Footprint in the World). She is also growing a movement: “How To Put The Fun Back Into Dating” to help women who are at the end of their dating rope to reignite the excitement and fun and create amazing love lives. You can find her at www.goddessconnections.com, www.fionafine. com or on www.facebook.com/fionafine
One Woman’s Wisdom – From One Leader to Another Leader (A Fiona Fine Interview with Claire Knowles)
Join Claire Knowles, organizational behavioural expert, author and former HR manager, and Editor-In-Chief Fiona Fine in this exclusive audio interview that speaks to the issues facing women leaders and entrepreneurs. They are going to tell you how to:- Find the hidden elephants in your organization
- Channel your own managerial courage and achieve your own empowerment as a leader
- Build a workplace that can nourish the human spirit
- Ask your employees and yourself the key questions that will make your business better
- How to resist mediocrity and move forward
- How to tell the difference between good stress and bad stress and keep the stress scale balanced
The Four Man Plan: A Romantic Science (A Fiona Fine Interview with Cindy Lu)
Solving the Dating Dilemma: An exclusive interview with relationship expert and actress Cindy Lu and Women Who Run It Editor-In-Chief Fiona Fine
Solving the Dating Dilemma: An exclusive interview with relationship expert and actress Cindy Lu and Women Who Run It Editor-In-Chief Fiona Fine
Toronto, Thursday, November 29, 2012 Exclusive to Women Who Run It: Your Life – Your Love – Your Terms!, the e-magazine for strong, empowered, driven women, Editor-In-Chief Fiona Fine sits down with actress, author, and relationship expert Cindy Lu to discuss her book The 4 Man Plan: A Romantic Science. In this never-before-released audio, the Engineer (Fiona) and the Mathematician (Cindy) reveal how to find love by the numbers, based on Cindy’s own research and findings. It is a shocking, insightful and at times hilarious interview that flies in the face of conventional dating wisdom and thumbs its nose at society’s expectations about how ‘good girls’ should conduct their love lives. Fiona Fine is now sharing THE FULL AUDIO of The 4 Man Plan, with Cindy Lu exclusively with subscribers of www.womenwhorunit.com IT CAN BE FOUND HERE AT https://womenwhorunit.wpengine.com Cindy Lu has been a professional actress for over 20 years and performed her one-woman show “The Four Man Plan” in 2006. Shortly after, the book was published by Random House and is now available worldwide in 7 languages. Since it’s release, Cindy Lu has coached women through the Plan and has integrated her access to other healing modalities to give her clients an interdimensional awakening experience. Fiona Fine is a self-glorified Goddess and Dating expert in her early 50s. After a long, unfulfilling and unsatisfying relationship and years in the corporate world, she decided to put the pleasure back into her existence and to start living life purely on her own terms. She is the founder of Goddess Connections. She started the revolution: HowToPutTheFunBackIntoDating.com where she helps women turn their dating lives around. She is also the Editor-In-Chief of Women Who Run It: Your Life – Your Love – Your Terms!, a magazine that advocates for women like her; ‘alpha’ women who want to stop the frazzled time-sucking search for information and discover the fastest path to the money, career, health, relationships and SEX of their dreams. For more information visit: https://womenwhorunit.wpengine.com http://www.facebook.com/WomenWhoRunIt http://twitter.com/WomenWhoRunIt http://www.facebook.com/fionafine Contact: Info@GoddessConnections.comThe Forgotten Women of the Military
WHEN THE TOUGH GET GOING, THE TOUGHER RUN THE FORT AT HOME!
It’s Women Who Run It – Military Style!
Yesterday was Remembrance (Canada) /Veterans Day (USA), and for many in these countries, we took a moment of silence to commemorate the men and women who keep us safe. Today, we wanted to feature some of the unsung heroes of the forces: military spouses. We were lucky enough to speak to four ‘super-women’ whose husbands have been in the military between 13 – 23 years and who are left to run it all while their men are gone for months at a time. We wanted to give them a voice as we can always learn so much from our sister ‘women who run it’. Here is what four strong, opinionated and resourceful Canadian military wives share about coping with long distance relationships, loneliness, communication, careers, kids and running it all: 1. “Hard truth: We are all mistresses with wedding bands on our fingers. Prepare to be alone. He is married to the military; ” Separation is never easy but wives of military men deal with deployments for months at a time, taking care of everything from finances, to childcare, to household repairs and snow shovelling. Although they all admit that it can be exhausting, they have come to rely on neighbours, family, and friends to help make it work. Asking for help when you just can’t do it yourself is a difficult thing to do for a strong, independent woman, but it is something that all of these wives have learned is important in coping and thriving. The other truth is that military families can also move around a tremendous amount which adds to the stress on relationships with family and friends who are left behind. One woman admits, “Intimacy can become collateral damage of friendship. I can only share so much online or through email and phone calls. It’s not the same as sitting in your kitchen sharing over a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.” 2. “Making connections with other women in similar circumstances is key.” Nobody is going to understand the life of a ‘military wife’ more than another military wife. The connections these women make are critical to helping them cope. It means putting yourself out there with every new location, learning to meet new neighbours, joining new support groups, putting trust in people you have just met. These women simply don’t have the option to be wall flowers and have to push past any reservations they have to go out there and make friends and connections in each new place they are stationed. 3. “You try to set up a schedule for communication but it doesn’t always work out.” With today’s technology where most of us rely on email, smart phones, or Skype to keep in touch, these women deal with frequent or extended lack of communication from their men. Imagine having to schedule phone calls and skype sessions, but then having to cancel for reasons that you are not even allowed to know or question. A ‘communication lockdown’ happens when troops are overseas and these wives must sit and wait, maybe never knowing what has happened. Which leads to the next point our military wives wanted to make… 4. “Do you completely trust your man?” Trust is a fundamental issue for military couples. The men are gone for long stretches, the women are at home to keep everything going. There has to be absolute trust from both sides, particularly when communication is impossible. One wife admits, “I’ve seen time and again that marriages just aren’t strong enough to get through the military lifestyle.” Hand in hand with that trust is communication. Keeping in touch is one thing, but actually learning to communicate and listen to each other is a skill that many couples lack. When your partner in life is gone for such long periods of time, life goes on at home without him and the wives need to keep a dialogue going, no matter how difficult it can be. “It’s important to talk about everything as it arises because one never know when they will be gone again or for how long. Yet you don’t want to distract them from the job as well. It’s a delicate balance.” 5. “I go where he goes. I take second chair.” Sometimes the levels of sacrifice these women make are something that very few would ever be capable of. All four of our military wives admit that demanding careers are something that are either put on hold or simply not achievable for women in their position. The frequent movement and the demands of being a single parent usually mean that priorities shift elsewhere. While one woman maintains “You can have a ‘career’, but you need to learn boundaries and have different priorities” (including part-time work or shortened hours), another believes “I don’t think it’s impossible but highly improbable for a military wife to have a career. It would take two very special people; highly driven, resilient individuals.” All four women believe that “someone has to keep the home fires burning, and be the constant for the children when your spouse is away that much. Children need stability. They need a soft place to land at the end of the day, or the end of a deployment. It takes a full time job at home to make that happen.” One of our ladies summed it up best when she said “Every hardship I felt along the way prepared me and made me the person and the woman I am today. All the years of ups and downs have gotten me to the place I am in now: confident, capable, courageous, strong. For me, I wouldn’t want to see into the future because if I had all those many years ago, I may not have wanted to take the journey, but I am sure as hell glad I did.” We at Women Who Run It would very much like to thank the four amazing women who opened up to us for this article. Through their honesty and candour, we not only learned what kind of sacrifices and concessions are made by military wives, but are reminded that strong, capable, ‘alpha’ women are in all walks of life and for that, we are grateful.Give Your Relationship the Gift of Confidence
Men are attracted to confident women.
No matter what way you look at it, a man just wants a woman who feels good about herself. He doesn’t want to spend all of his time worrying about what you’re feeling about yourself at any given time. He wants a woman who knows who she is, and knows she’s a gorgeous goddess with a ton to offer him. I have seen this countless times in my own life and in my friend’s lives. Whenever insecurities hit, the relationship starts to show cracks. As soon as jealousies arise, fights start. He wants the confident woman that he met to show up in the relationship and you, as a woman, want reassurance and love from him. He can’t and won’t want to give you that reassurance when you’re whining that your legs are too fat or you question if he still loves you. It’s important to step into the role of the confident woman that you were when you first met (that is part of what being a “goddess” is all about!) You probably haven’t gained any significant weight since you first met him and if you have; he probably hasn’t even noticed. If you think he doesn’t love you then you need to first reflect on where that insecurity is coming from. Does he actually treat you differently with tangible examples, or is it based on an insecurity and therefore all in your head? Some insecurities have their justifications but if you react every single time something pops up into your mind it’s going to start having its effects on the relationship. When the insecurities start showing up for you, there are a few things you can do to calm yourself, think rationally, and keep the drama down. 1. Breathe When something comes up for you; stop. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Instead of reacting to it, respond. Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself and to really take the time to allow yourself to feel the emotions you’re feeling. It’s okay to feel the emotions. Emotions are natural and come up for a reason. This doesn’t mean that every emotion needs to be expressed, but rather felt in awareness and silence in your head. Once you’ve done some breathing you’ll find that the emotion releases and even recedes and you can think more rationally upon it. 2. Reflect Is the emotion you’re feeling truly justified? Once you’ve done your breathing and have calmed down to a point where you can really reflect upon the emotion; determine if it’s something that is real or if it’s only your perception. Did he really cheat on you – or are you imagining suspicious phone calls in your head? Once you take the time to really look inside yourself for the answer you’ll then know how to respond to it. 3. Let it Go If you determine that the emotion is unjustified then you need to let it go. Hanging onto a negative emotion is toxic and will only cause you more grief. If it’s not justified then allow it leave. Exercise, dance around your living room, hug a tree, or go out into a field and scream your head off; whatever you need to do to get that emotion out of your head so that you can move forward. Once you’ve let go of the emotion you can return to your calm and centered self and things will be much improved. Obviously emotions are justified yet many emotions don’t need to be expressed in the exact moment; before you react and emote with every single emotion that pops up, try the above steps first. He will appreciate it and it will strengthen and nurture your relationship in more ways than you can imagine.Contest Announcement: Refresh! Renew! Rejuvenate! Women Who Run It E-Magazine Rewards Readers with a Chance to Win an Origins™ Gift Pack
Contest Announcement: Refresh! Renew! Rejuvenate! Women Who Run It E-Magazine Rewards Readers with a Chance to Win an Origins™ Gift Pack
TORONTO, November 23, 2012
Women Who Run It: Your Life – Your Love – Your Terms, the e-magazine for strong, successful, super-achieving women wants to reward its readers by announcing its first ever Refresh! Renew! Rejuvenate! Free GIFT Contest. Subscribers will be eligible to enter for a chance to win an Origins™ Ginger To-Go and Stay Set*, simply by visiting the following link:
www.womenwhorunit.com/originscontest
Editor-In-Chief Fiona Fine says, “As the e-magazine and website for the modern ‘alpha’ woman, we understand that sometimes relaxation and renewal are the last things on our to-do list and yet one of the most critical things to achieving health, harmony, and happiness. We want to help our readers take a minute to unwind and relax by giving them the opportunity to win this all natural, earth and animal friendly gift pack.”
About Fiona Fine
Fiona Fine is a self-glorified Goddess in her early 50s and the Editor-In-Chief of Women Who Run It: Your Life – Your Love – Your Terms, an in-box magazine that advocates for and empowers strong “alpha” women around the world; women who are used to running the show at a high level and know how tough and often lonely it can be as a top professional juggling career, relationships, family, dating, health & fitness, community, while still finding personal time.
After a long, unfulfilling and unsatisfying relationship and years in the traditional male world of engineering and information technology, she decided to put the pleasure back into her existence and to start living life more on her own terms. Now she advocates for women (like her) who wonder how to keep it all from unraveling but still have a harmonized life of love, work, passion and… fun!
For more information visit:
https://womenwhorunit.wpengine.com
http://www.facebook.com/WomenWhoRunIt
http://twitter.com/WomenWhoRunIt
http://www.facebook.com/fionafine
*void where prohibited/see full contest details
Dating Advice for Women: The “Get Over It” Gene
Once upon a time…
I went on a date with a guy a couple of weeks ago who was introduced to me through a mutual friend. The date went amazingly well. We talked for hours, flirted like crazy and of course it helped that he was absolutely drop dead gorgeous, offered to take me dancing and we had a ton of things in common. By the end of the date I couldn’t believe how great it was; and when he kissed me, the butterflies in my stomach woke up from a year long hiatus.
But… Yes, you knew there was a BUT coming… (there always is when I start a story with a ‘Once upon a time…’). Even though we had fun during our date we’d also had a pretty serious conversation about what it was we were each looking for in our dating lives. He mentioned that he was recently separated and that he knew his marriage was over but it was still tough going. I mentioned that I wasn’t looking for the ‘white picket fence’ relationship and just wanted to go out on dates and have a good time. I also mentioned that I was dating another man at the same time and we both agreed that we could get along with our situations. After a five hour date and some really great kissing I told him it was time for me to go home. He asked if I was sure and (despite my body screaming at me ‘no – this is way too hot to stop’) I went home alone with promises of seeing him soon. Let’s just say I had some great dreams that night! Then the next two weeks go by. He knew he had to go on a family trip with his ex and let me know that the two weeks would be busy. I knew he was away so in the interest of no drama, I let him be: no initiating texts, no long talks on the phone, etc. I just let things go as they would. Then today I got a text from him. He said he was sorry and he was terrible at texting and thanked me for being cool about the reduced communication. In response I asked when I would see him again and that’s when I started to get the huge song and dance…excuse, prevarication, excuse…. It came down to the fact that somehow his ex had found out he had gone on a date and she wasn’t happy so he “wanted to just be friends with me” for now until things were settled so he could end it peacefully with his ex. Um…. can you say emotionally unavailable? Feeling all the roiling emotions of disappointment, anger and frustration I called up Fiona (my dating guru) for some SOS advice before I blasted him via email, text, phone or all three for being two faced and wasting my time. She listened to me rant that he was an idiot and insensitive and ‘how dare he?’ and ‘dammit, we f#cking talked about it all on the actual date’ … @#$^…. grrrr. A third of the way through the rant and emoting, she cut me off in mid rant and said “I am going to be give you some really tough love on this topic ‘coz I know you can take it.” She laid it all on the table so to speak (inter-friend-tions aren’t always pretty). Was I going to make him wrong for being emotionally not ready (and not realizing it)? Was I going to be a “typical girl” and blast him when he told the truth? ….Did I really want to be just friends with this guy or was that too much for him to ask under the circumstances? She told me to set my boundaries. I know that me just being friends with this guy won’t happen as the attraction is too strong. I would be looking at him with more than just friendship in mind and so my boundary had to be set at ‘NEXT’… Listening to her words of wisdom, we laid out a plan of attack and wording of a cool/unemotional text: “Wow, that sucks. Get back in touch if/ when it all settles down”. I left all the emotions/frustrations out of it. Even the disappointment of “Sh#t, I was really into you and I thought we were on the same page!!” And most of all, I left ALL the drama out of it! Yep, you guessed what came next… I got a text back a few minutes later, thanking me for being so cool (which of course I am!) Better yet, I knew from the plan that Fiona and I spoke about that I did not have to answer him – nor did I. He’ll call me when he’s ready – or he won’t. The faster I get over it, the better my life is! Until then, I’m not interested in dating an emotionally unavailable man (confession: but whom I’m hopelessly, sexually attracted to). A lesson I got given in all of this? Don’t let what boys do make you think all men are terrible. Don’t blame him nor the next one in your life. As Fiona said, “He didn’t do this on purpose and he honestly didn’t know what it was going to be like going on a date after 7 years of marriage”. So I cut him some slack, called it what it is and I move on to the next man. When/IF he calls, I’ll give him another chance without blaming or attacking him – if it that is what I choose to do and it works for me. Because I am learning to have the “Get Over It” gene.~~~
Note from Fiona: Men screw up a lot!. In my private practice and when I speak to men around the world their refrain is the same: “sometimes we can be inconsiderate jerks – please can you get over it if it is small stuff and not harp or remind us of it over and over”. “Your ability to “get over it” is going to make me appreciate that you are a really cool woman and that I need to always be earning your respect to deserve you – the ultimate prize”. Ladies – we need to learn to GET OVER IT more!Interview with Dr. Gayle Joplin Hall
Divorced? Dumped? Duped? Has your relationship gone sour?
Trying to hang on to your man or wanting to kick him to the curb? Either way, we can tell you how.
We have the scoop from Dr. Gayle Joplin Hall on what to do if you Can’t Live With Him, Can’t Live Without Him.
If you can’t live with him, Dr. Hall and our Editor-In-Chief Fiona Fine discuss what to do it he’s
- dragging his heels on his way out the door
- how to get him out of your life for good
- the one BIG reason guys usually leave and what you can do about it
Listen in and find out what to do … no matter which side of the coin you are on!
Are You Pre-Diabetic? Every Woman’s Wake Up Call: You Could Be ‘Fat on the Inside’
“But diabetes is a fat person’s disease!” you gasp. “How can a successful, professional woman like myself possibly develop diabetes? I’m not overweight at all!” Well, we have news for you, sister. Woman to woman: it’s time to start re-thinking what we know about type 2 diabetes and how it can affect women just like you (and me!). The fact is that more and more women are becoming diabetic and lifestyle still has a lot to do with it, but not in the way you think. Here’s how it may play out:- You’re a successful 30, 40, or 50-something professional, but you have a lot of stress in your work and home life, so you can’t find the time to exercise like you used to when you were in your 20s.
- You’ve manage to keep your weight down because there isn’t a diet that you haven’t tried over the years. You are the yo-yo queen but that’s okay, because it helps to keep you slim even when you overindulge in sweets or wine.
- And yes, you might still smoke (you’ve been meaning to quit) but you need some kind of stress relief in your crazy day and it’s a way to get away from being chained to your desk. And those cocktails after work are just another way to unwind (although sometimes the nights out with the girls do get out of hand).
- Maintaining your weight through dieting alone: 15% of new cases are not overweight on the outside (National Institutes of Health statistics), but something much more scary instead. These people are called ‘Fat on the Inside,’ which means that dangerous fat stores internally surrounding key organs instead of showing outwardly around the middle as a paunch. Dr. Jimmy Bell coined the term when he made his recent discovery. He determined that these internal fat deposits cause inflammatory substances to affect your liver and pancreas, and lower your insulin sensitivity, putting you on the road to Diabetes.
- Yo-Yo dieting: Every time we drop weight, we lose muscle, but when we gain the weight again, we don’t get that muscle back. Your body clings to that extra fat because it is afraid of being starved again and this kind of fat produces more hormones and proteins, which affects your glucose levels and triggers the start of type 2 diabetes.
- Eating processed ‘diet’ foods or bingeing on fatty, sugary foods: Let’s face it; many diet foods are a minefield of bad choices. Sugar-free foods often add fat, and fat-free foods often add sugar. If you live on anything marked ‘low-cal’ or ‘diet’ you could be doing more harm than good. Add to that the tendency for women to ‘comfort eat’ by indulging in fatty or sugary foods and you elevate the real risk of becoming ‘fat on the inside’.
- Being stressed out all the time: Whenever we experience stress, our body produces the hormone cortisol which gives you that jolt of energy but it also elevates your blood sugar levels. If you are stressed all the time, it is going to take a toll on your body and its ability to handle sugars and fats over the long-term.
- You are smoking and/or drinking: Whether your vice is cosmos or Corona, if you drink more than the recommended amount of alcohol on a regular basis (1 drink a day for women) you will have more of that dangerous internal fat. You also run the risk of chronic inflammation of the pancreas (pancreatitis), which can impair its ability to secrete insulin and ultimately lead to diabetes. Tobacco can increase blood sugar levels as well and lead to insulin resistance.
1) Get Moving: Statistics show that overweight people who exercise regularly are at lower risk of developing Type 2 Diabetes than thin people who are sedentary. Get off your couch, push away from your desk and get moving. Your life might depend on it.
2) Eat ‘real’ foods high in fibre: Legumes, oats, brown rice, fruits, and berries high in fibre all help to regulate blood sugar levels. You get the added bonus of lowering your cholesterol as well.
3) Cut out processed ‘diet’ foods: Don’t believe what the label tells you. A cookie is still a cookie. Think twice about what you put in your mouth.
4) Slow and steady wins the race: Yo-yo dieting is called that for a reason. Get off the yo-you and embrace the slow and steady approach to weight loss. Crash diets will only harm you in the long run and they just aren’t worth it.
5) Take vitamin D: There is some evidence that a lack of this vitamin in your diet can hinder insulin function and glycemic control so make sure you get in those fatty fish, tinned tuna, fortified milk products, and supplements
6) Find a way to fight stress: Exercise is already a great stress reliever, but find other ways to relax and decompress, whether it’s through yoga, meditation, or a lunchtime walk.
Most importantly though, speak with your doctor. It is recommended that women over 40 are to be tested for diabetes every 3 years. Make sure you bring up your concerns with your physician. Diabetes is a very old disease but it is developing a new face because of the stressed, desk-strapped, diet obsessed lifestyles that we women are leading today. Be aware, be informed, and be healthy. We need you rocking your life in the world!