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The Five Sexual Stages

Why is it that some of us enjoy sex more than others? Why are some of us adventurous in bed, while others are more reserved? Do we simply owe thanks to our unique personalities? Jaiya, a world-renowned sex expert, has an explanation of her own: she believes that we experience multiple stages of sexuality, and that each of us falls into one of these five stages throughout the course of our lives.

The Resting Stage: If you’re longing for a sexual connection that you’ve never had before, or you feel a loss of your sexuality, you are currently in the resting stage. In this stage people feel disconnected from their sex lives, but find that they’re still craving something, although they can’t quite pinpoint what it is. You want to be intimate and find passion again, but you’re at a loss as to where you can find it, and whom you can find it with. You may have been single for a long time at this point, freshly out of a relationship that lacked any real connection or maybe even in a relationship that just wasn’t right for you.

The Healing Stage: In the healing phase you are looking to overcome sexual obstacles and heal what is preventing you from fulfilling your sexual desires.Those of us in this category have recently undergone some form of trauma. It could be something physical, such as abuse, or something emotional, such as feeling afraid, guilty or insecure. Others in this category may even be suffering from medical ailments such as pain during intercourse, post-surgery or erectile dysfunction. Whatever the reason, something is currently holding you back from experiencing a fulfilled sex life.

The Curious Stage: Just as it states, you are currently experiencing periods of curiosity. In this phase you are wanting to learn about your sexuality and how you can make it better. Maybe you want to become a better lover, or maybe you want to experiment with new things such as same-sex experimentation or new people. You’re likely wondering about certain positions in lovemaking or how you can increase pleasure to others through oral sex and vice versa. You want to learn more about intimacy.

The Adventurous Stage: This stage is for all of those wild ones who are experiencing sex often and freely. Sexual pleasure is not an issue for you and you’re feeling very content with what you are receiving and what you are giving to others. You are at your sexual prime here and feel extremely confident and forward in bed. The adventurer is unafraid to try new things and is kinky enough to brave even the most taboo sex positions, such as anal. You not only find interest in things such as role-playing, bondage, and anal, but you are forward about trying it, and comfortable with it.

The Transformative Stage: This stage is for those of you who want to move beyond the simple physical pleasure of sex and into the realm of transformational sexual experience. You are likely still discovering who you are and what you enjoy and feel that sex is one of the many outlets to finding yourself. In essence, sexuality is used as a tool for personal growth and self discovery.

Just like every other part of us, our sexual fantasies and desires are unique. We mustn’t feel ashamed or shy away from what our bodies are craving and signaling to us. No matter which stage you are in, there is a wide array of advice for you to take from Jaiya.

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Kristen Sobot

Kristen Sobot has just completed her first year in Journalism at Ryerson University, and previously graduated with an English and Psychology degree from Wilfrid Laurier University. She is currently working as a summer intern with Goddess Connections. Kristen has a strong interest in writing about dating & relationships, beauty, and health. Considered a go-to girl for advice by her friends and family, she has a natural knack for love and life, and is passionate about helping others.